Ziarah

ATTENTION : You will need to click on the title of each article to read the full post, yang mana rasa macam tergantung..

Purata.

Monday, January 27, 2014


 


 
Surah Hud, 88.
"Aku hanya bertujuan hendak memperbaiki sedaya upayaku; dan tiadalah aku akan beroleh taufik untuk menjayakannya melainkan dengan pertolongan Allah. Kepada Allah jualah aku berserah diri dan kepadaNyalah aku kembali."


***


Sometimes it's better to be alone than to be in a bad company.
Well, sometimes.

Most of the time we just have to be the good company.

He did not shoo away those who didn't follow his way, did he?
Dakwah wouldn't have spread if it was a work of a single man.
It started from one man but grew until Makkah became the oasis in the Arabian dessert.
Islam is not a religion of solitude, Rasulullah went out, he did not isolate himself and do good all by himself. He spread. He taught.

He was sent down to perfect good manners.
Have we tried to follow his way?
The last Prophet's, s.a.w. 

Sometimes it's the little things that matter. Jihad is big, but everyone's mujahadah is definitely different from one another.

Notetoself, and those reading. :) | 14

This was meant to post for MaulidurRasul sebenarnya.

Sesetengah orang rasa untuk bermanfaat kepada ummah tu, adalah dengan mengangkat senjata, join demo sini sana, itu dan ini. Tapi in actual fact, apa apa pun yang kita buat, sentiasa ada peluang untuk bermanfaat. Dan kalau dah namanya untuk bermanfaat, haruslah buat yang terbaik. Note to self. Note to self. Remind, for I forget.


***

Ini kesinambungan pengakhiran post "Mortal, Rizak dan Rizqi"

Results in a couple of days. I'm nervous. Ho yeah.
and mulalah post-post
"Ilmu bukan pada pointer"
That, is true.
"Allah tengok usaha, bukan tengok natijah"
That, is also true.

But. Before we quickly comfort ourselves, just, ask, banyak mana usaha tu?
You know, "to excel, is a Muslim." Dr Spahic Omer. but did we really try to excel?

Kalau result tak seberapa, nak biar je ke berterusan macam tu? Of course we should work harder, aim higher.

"Buat apa nak kejar pangkat tinggi-tinggi?"
"Tak bawak ke kubur pun pointer tinggi.."


To be average. To be among the typical. Is it really what is taught in our religion?

Watch this:

Rasa macam nak buat transcript penuh je..: 

 “The strong believer is greater to Allah, is closer to Allah, is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer (Hadith). And here, 'strength' is not only strength in imaan, in dakwah, 'ibadah, taqwa, but strength in ALL aspects of life, and that includes your education! That includes you seeking education. Whether you're taking syariah or engineering or pharmaceutical or medical sciences or whatever field that you're in, Islam wants you to be the BEST!” 

 “Always aim high. Look for what is beneficial for you. It is the advice of our beloved teacher Muhammad s.a.w. What’s the passing mark out of a 100? 51? Then you aim for 51? NO!” *Ouch*

 “It’s not wrong in getting the best in a position, Yusuf a.s asked to be a treasurer of Egypt during his time. Aim to be the best! You follow the best, you believe in the best (the prophets), so why don’t you follow TO BE the best?!”

"Ihris ‘ala ma yanfa’uk! Work hard for what benefits you."

"Let’s learn from our beloved Prophet s.a.w, with ONE MAN, ONE MAN ALONE IN MAKKAH, when Allah s.w.t asked for him to get up and call people to Allah, bring people to Islam, invite people to Laa Ilaha Illallah, what did the Prophet s.a.w said? Did he say 
“I want all man in Makkah to be Muslim.” or 
“I want the whole Arabian Peninsular to be Muslim.” Or 
“I want Asia to be Muslim” ? 
NO! He says I want Islam to reach everywhere, the way day and night had reached everywhere. Look at this high objective! That was the achievement of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. He aimed for it. He set it as a goal. And he worked for it.” 

“You don’t have to be a sheikh or a’limm. You could be whoever you are, whatever you are and whatever you are in, you aim high to achieve and become the best of Muslim.

"When you ask for Jannah, don’t just say Oh Allah, grant me your Jannah, don’t just ask to be in just any level of Jannah.. don’t just ask to be amongst those who just enter the Jannah, who just smell the fragrance of Jannah. No! No! If you ask Allah for his Jannah, ask for the Firdaus, aim to be in the Firdaus, the highest level of Jannah! This is the character or a Muslim, the character or the believer that makes us different – when we aim, we aim high, and when we achieve, we achieve the best!"

“The best of you, are the most beneficial to others (Hadith).. Achieve the highest in life. Be the best of example. Be the best of engineer, be the best of Imam, be the best of teachers, the best of doctors…” 

“Aim high, and depend on Allah s.w.t. Depend on The One that lives for another day, depend on The One that says “Be! And it happens” (kun fayakun). How could you aim low and depend on Allah? If you really wanna depend on Allah, then aim for the best in life. Depend on Allah and know that Allah with always be with you. Don’t be lazy! Don’t be reluctant!” 

 *tampo tampo tampo*

Only after that we have the right to say, "Usaha kerja kita, natijah kerja Allah."

فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ
Kemudian apabila kamu telah membulatkan tekad, maka bertawakkallah kepada Allah.

All the best.
Till then.


***

So my blog was set to private a few days ago, if any of you noticed. *krik krik krik*

It was the usual "I should stop. Tulis tah pa pe je, macam xde manfaat je." phase.
That feeling, rasa macam nak shut down semua akaun dekat alam maya ni.
But I know that is just impossible.
Well, at least for me.

Kadang-kadang terfikir jugak untuk delete all those nonsense, tinggalkan yang (rasa-rasa) ada manfaatnya je. Tapi fikir balik, tak boleh jugak, kadang-kadang manfaat bukanlah dari post yang ilmiah, yang ada selit ayat quran atau hadith.

Kita tak tahu how our words may affect other people kan.
Like I myself, bila dengar kisah orang, sometimes it's the tiniest bit of what they said tu yang struck me. Sometimes it's a sentence bukan the whole story. Sometimes it's the subject matter not the language.
Kadang-kadang dia cakap pasal ayam ke itik ke tapi kalau kita boleh relate dengan hidup kita, apa salahnya kan.

"Kadang2 kita tak tahu macam mana words kita boleh affect orang lain. 

Pemahaman semua orang berbeza, but if it could benefit, especially on the way we see things around us, then it's a yay.

Malam ni was, something. It was very deep, so deep I could cry, tambah deep. Dan lemas.

Allahurobbana.
Tsabbit qulubana.
'Ala diinik.
Wa to'atik." 16 Sept 2013.

Besides, my blog dah macam my memory back-up dah.
Yelah, zaman blog cakap hari ni bosan tak buat apa sampai zaman blog berjela-jela satu hari tu buat apa sampai, sekarang. Zaman ana antum to zaman kita korang zaman tak tahu nak bahasa diri apa *major problem*...zaman copy paste artikel tak tengok sumber. zaman zaman tu.

It feels great to see the changes. Malu memanglah malu tengok ya Allah tak matangnya, pft macam sekarang matang lah sangat kan, tapi hey, it was me.

Those were the days and those were my stories that became a part of me.
Even though there's so much more I hide in the closet but everything I put in this blog is a part of me that I choose to share with people. Though, I don't really tell people my blog link. It's like kalau jumpa, jumpalah. :P

buat buat kental 
menahan airmatamu jatuh 
agar kau terlihat kuat 
penat juga ya 
lepaskan rasa 
biar airmatamu jatuh 
biar kau lega. ~ ismisyahida; 280114

Semalam, ada diskusi sikit dengan my dear schoolmates bila Tasha post pasal 'To be or not to be in a relationship...".. Teringat zaman sekolah.
To sit down and have our own extended discussion in the musolla after usrah. i miss u guys.

nak duduk dekat surau al-ansori. atau teratak ilmuwan. atau astaka.
dengan angin. dengan daun kering. dengan nasihat.
dengan, sahabat.
Teratak ilmuwan.

Bila Tasha keluarkan statement, "Rindu-rindu cenggini baiklah kita patri dalam doa. Biar tsabat sesama. Ohoho" NAS

It's just that, I don't know. We're taking different paths.
Things aren't the same.
Things are scarier.
And your know what, I don't know if i'm becoming part of it.

now playing: "Will you hate me?" Dawud Warnsby Ali.

i don't know. how would you guys react if u see the live i'm living?
would you guys be among those yang ada that stereotype towards design students jugak?

would you guys call me a hypocrite, a liar?
would you damn me to fire?

i feel like running away from people. escaping.
but running away isn't gonna solve anything. AQ 33:16.

This is gonna be awkward but, permintaan:
I'm not gonna delete anything from the past but,
Mohon, andai satu masa nanti penulis blog ni tak lagi bernyawa,
Mohon doakan blog ni ada manfaatnya.
Mohon apa saja yang baik dapat dimanfaatkan.
dan tentu tentunya,
apa saja yang buruk mohon buat jadi pengajaran.

kehidupan realiti, luar blog jugak. Sama.
Even if yang negatifnya mungkin, oklah confirm lagi banyak dari yang positif,
Mohon doa berterusan.
kbai.


Of Semester 1, Year 2. | ceritapasaldirijesemuanitakdeyangmenarik.

Monday, January 13, 2014



My Balang Bahagia for Semester 1, Year 2. Banyak tak sempat isi.. 

Prologue: Penat.
Pagi lepas solat subuh dekat surau KAED after an all-nighter dekat studio,

"Tak nak balik lagi?"
"Em, nak siapkan ni dulu kot."
"Ish. Gigihnya.." krik krik. "Tapi mmg rasa macam nak kena siapkan ni dulu kan.. Selagi tak siap tu, rasa tak sedap.."
You got me, brother. Exactly my point.

Tengah hari tu, kemas-kemas barang sikit. Nak balik. KENA balik mandi. HAHAH. K.

"Nak balik dah?" With a smile on the face. Macam satu rahmat je tengok kita nak balik. hahah. Tak tahu nak rasa offended ke mcm mn. Bahah.
"A'a... tapi japgi datang studio balik."
"Ish. Ya Allah.. Tak penat ke?"
"Banyak keje lagi.." 'Penat lah.. tipu kalau tak penat.'

Putus asa.
Sem ni, hampir putus asa. Selama berkecimpung *eceh* dalam dunia design, rasanya tak pernah sekali pun menangis sebab workload ke apa tapi this sem, fuh fuh fuh. I cried. PFT. depan lift pulak tu. buat drama. pft. hahaha. k malu.

My studiomates, caring belaka semuanya. Be it yg perempuan, yang lelaki. Terharu mak. Sobs. hahah.




Concern.
I remember one of those days, lepas one whole day spend masa dekat studio and kerja banyaklah jugak dah selesai, decided untuk balik bilik, mandi, solat, then datang balik sambung apa yang patut. Tapi kisahnya terlelap lepas solat. Lepas tu dapat mesej from one of my studiomates;

"Caje tak mai studio ka?"
"Hahah, insyaAllah, after isya' mcm tu... kenapa..?"
"Haha, rasa pelik Caje takdak."

Pulakk. Malamnya datang studio and then they went;

"Caje? Caje ke tu?" Suara dari blakang partition, bebudak industrial tengah siapkan final project diorang (educational toys).
"Ye saya..."
"Caje buat apaaaa lagiiii?" Riuh.

"Caje gi balik laaaa.. sidai kain ke apa ke.."
"Sudahh. baru  je jemur tadi."

Ada yang pergi tanya orang lain pulak, "Syaza tu tak penat ke?" I do not know how to react upon receiving this. Knowing that the asker is a guy and therefore it meant one thing, it was obvious ambe tak balik bilik untuk mandi. ahahha. Goodness.

Oh and I had a chat with one of the brothers jugak hari tu..
"Syaza bila nak balik berehat?"
"Haha, kalau ikutkan boleh je nak balik kejap. Tapi takut terbabas lah.."
"Kalau dah sampai terbabas tu maknanya tak cukup rehatlah.."
'Ouch.' "Hehhs. Seriously, nanti terbabas.. Taknak lah."
"Kalau Syaza lelaki mesti dah menetap kat studio ni kan? Tapi sebab Syaza perempuan je.."

Wahaha.
Agaklah.

"Benci Syaza. Benci Syaza. Benci Syaza" Ulang 1000kali luls.

And that one night secara serentak I got text messages from a brother and a sister, both asking whether I'm still in the studio, mintak tolong tengokkan barang sebab diorang dah balik. Masa tu tengah maghrib. Pft. Nampak tak betapa everyone knew I was making the studio macam rumah sendiri.

And bila jumpa the seniors dekat toilet, dekat surau, mesti kena marah.
Especially this one particular sister (yang sangat comel rasa nak picit picit je. ahhah k abaikan), kak Mkay, she would go "Awak ni kan! Balik sekarang! Orang lain pun banyak keje tapi bahaya lah macam ni, continous macam ni..! Kita nak awak balik sekarang!" sambil tampar-tampar tepuk-tepuk ambe yang still refuse untuk balik. Tapi I saw her almost all the time which means, beliau pun stay up jugeee. haha.

I wasn't the only one, of course, tapi sebab orang lain rajin balik bilik and I'm not.. Kot. Yeah. I guess. So it became obvious. T.T.. and the fact that this is my blog, hofkoslah cerita perspektif sendiri..
Transport satu hal. Tak kuasa nak buang masa jalan 30min pergi balik mahallah ke studio dengan kerja bertimbunnya. Bayangkan nak mandi ke apa pun boleh rasa buang masa, tertidur banyak sikit pun rasa menyesal gila.. Sedih kan. haha.



My roommates went
"Caje, caje bayar yuran mahallah separuh ke macam mana? Bila caje nak ada dekat bilik?"
And the fact that I always turn down their offer untuk keluar together2 tapi satu hari tu layan jugak, I mean, keluar sekali, what harm je pun kan... and their reaction was "Yeay! Complete set hari ni!" "Yeay Caje ikut.." really gets to me.. But alhamdulillah I got to spend a lot more time dgn diorang masa the study week, dalam bilik..akhir-akhir hujung-hujung sem.. Lepas selesai semuanya..

Tears and responsibilities.


Sometimes

Alkisah semester ni boleh kata semua subjek praktikal, subjek yang ada final project tapi takde final paper, which explains why we were so happy lenggang kangkung masa study week. So bertimbunlah, berderet-deretlah final submissions sebelum study week. Dengan Islamic Geometric Patternnya, dengan Islamic Calligraphy nya, dengan Computer Graphics nya dengan masalah dalaman departmentnya and most importantly dengan studio work nya.

Tapi yang tah kenapa g menangis tu sebenarnya sebab that one and only (minus U-required sub) teori punya subject, Design Methodology. Dijadikan cerita ada group assignment and our work was rejected. Rejected kaw-kaw punya yang memang kena redo from the very beginning.. Tahu kena redo everything je terus rasa macam 'ya Alllaaah. ada banyak kerja lain lagi nak kena submit. Heritage proposal lagiiii. Ingatkot dah boleh cross-out dah Design Meto dari list kerja... Tolonglah.'



Tapi kipkam dulu until sampai dekat lift, one of my studiomates yang sangat sangat sangat risaukan my condition that time, (beliau lah punca semua orang tahu I haven't slept for days sebenarnya.. leuls. comel je.) suddenly went;

"Caje, sorry, caje. Sorry. Caje mesti penat kan?" depan lift. Elevator, if u ask. 
Terus merambu. Tahulah hamba bahawasanya air mata yang tertumpah setelah sekian lama buat julung2 kalinya itu air mata lelah, jauh sekali air mata sedih kena redo.

I mean, the one yang cakap sorry (and nangis jugak. sbb beliau dan sorg lg pun nangis dulu, ambe pun tak tahan. haha) pun antara yang paling banyaaaak tolong dalam menggerakkan kerja group tu. Mestilah macam 'Eh nooo don't say that. You, too, must have been really tired. Janganlah tengok kita je...'

I have to say I was pretty ticked off kekadang sepanjang kerja tu, it was a massive group so byk kerenah, tambah pulak dgn kerja lain, rasa nak naik suara je and everyone be like, "Caje nak tinggi suara? Ohmaigodddd." -.- I'm no angel. Come on, pipol.
Upon knowing I cried pun semua orang macam "Ya Allah kalau Syaza pun menangis.." What now, I cannot cry huh? Huhuhu.

Tapi teringat kak Asya jo masa tolong kitorang dengan preparation KAEDFest...
Our respectable former Ms. President for the Designext Society. Sangat tenang orangnya. Adoreeeee.

Kak Asya termengeluh. But then she quickly cakap "Eh astaghfirullah.. tak elok mengeluh.."
"Kenapa?"
"Ye lah, kita kena kuat. Tak boleh mengeluh. Nanti orang bawah jagaan kita pun tak kuat.."

"Being a charger is not easy. You yourself need a power socket before you can actually function and charge others. Caje."

Responsibilities. Knowing that other people are depending on you. Kena work harder. Have to. Even if they're not totally, 100% depending on you tapi they actually buat you jadi kayu ukur, like it's okay not to do it if you don't do it. Blergh. It's hard, but it's a matter of amanah, secara tak langsung. Sedih tapi elok jugak, push diri kita sendiri untuk bekerja, it's a plus point lah.

Blessings.
Tp ye lah benda-benda yang menguji ni lah yang buat kita tambah pengalaman, tambah kenangan... Lessons learnt, and it may be the hard way tapi hey, takdelah hidup statik bosan sunyi sepi je. Selalu diuji bila cakap pasal sesuatu. Awal semester I keep talking about 'Kuat'. About being strong to face the ups and downs. There, Allah uji. Allah nak tengok kuat ke tak. Can I walk the talk?

penat2 stay up sekali kena redo balik semua lukisan ni. tapi one thing for sure the drawings and rendering got better and better, alhamdulillah. i guess.

Dan, dalam keadaan macam ni lah I get to know my studiomates better. Walaupun yang tak sama majoring, kebanyakannya, sbb yg stay studio setakat sem lepas, sll the Industrials. Conservation jarang2, Interior time esok lusa nak submit hidup lah dekat studio...

Daripada dulu Caje yang duduk bilik buat kerja, sampai masa hantar, jadi Caje yang stay studio bersosial lah dengan makhluk-makhluk Allah yang lain bernama studiomates. Buang those awkward moments, get comfortable dengan semua orang. I can finally say saya telah berjaya mula berkonversasi dengan semua orang dengan jaya jayanya. LEULS. I think to do your work in the studio really brings the team spirit. I mean, walaupun kerja maybe tak siap sebab our focus may sometimes lari ke apa, tapi I don't know, it felt different. I don't know, bonding, maybe?

The moments I spent with my studiomates, the moments outside class hours tu yg precious. Moment bercerita, moment mengadu, tukar-tukar memori, tukar-tukar pendapat. Itu yang, priceless.
Things that made you realise if you weren't in this environment, you'll never get to experience them. They're just, different. I mean, where else would I get that extra pengalaman hidup bermasyarakat at 12 midnight or even 3 in the morning? Or after subuh where most people are probably tengah tido balik or siap2 nak ke kelas while you just got back from the studio to ALSO get ready for your class that morning?


Ah. That reminds me, hari tu stay up, ramai dah balik lepas solat subuh but I stayed sampai lebih kurang pukul 8 sebab class would be at 9, takut balik awal nnt, tertido and terlepas kelas.. one of my studiomates, a guy, nak tumpangkan balik but I guess he knew I would refuse if it's gonna be only the two of us, "Jom, Syaza, balik sekali. *Insert another name, of a guy* ikut sekali." Though, still, I was the only girl dalam kereta tu but the effort, I appreciate that. and yeah, I never thought I would be sitting alone in a car with a guy, inikan pulak two of them. It was raining and I asked them to just drop me off dekat guard but they refused, dua2 insist suruh stay je biar dihantar sampai blok, cakap hujan nanti demamlah apa lah padahal hujan cenonet je kot.

And, that sudden question pukul 3 pagi,
"Korang. Question. What would be the best way ... the ideal way, yang korang rasa, nak suruh orang perempuan pakai tudung..?"
Like whoa whoa. Coming from a guy, knowing that he needs that opinion to actually ask (a) girl to cover up.. like pepepepeh.. k.

Gila gila mereng diorang pun ya Allah the only 10 brothers dekat studio tu semuanya sangatlah gentlemen sebenarnya. Diorang jugaklah yang tak bagi ktorang tidur dekat musolla sbb risau. One of them told me betapa bersihnya studio senior and they even had a place for the sisters to sleep. "Macam korang, sisters, mesti nak tempat yang proper nak tidur kan.." 

Or those life questions macam:
"Kenapa eh, macam mana eh kita boleh suka sangat ke something tapi lama-lama jadi dah tak berapa suka..?"

"Kenapa hidup kena ada pilihan?"

"Korang nak tau tak korang pokemon apa?" Yep. I'm not kidding. Half of the studio actually got their pokemon names. What design did to you.

"Caje hang nak kawen dak?" k tetiba.

To conclude, a friend once said and it went straight, right into the heart,
"Masalah, memang untuk orang hidup pun. Kalau takde masalah, takdelah muhasabah."
Kalau dah mati, apa boleh buat? At least bila kita hidup, kita boleh selesaikan.

And finally,
"Menangis, tak jadi masalah. Tambah-tambah bila kita nangis depan Tuhan. Dengan dosa kita. Terus rasa macam beban selama ni pap hilang. Menangis depan manusia, diorang bukan boleh buat apa. Sekadar dengar".
Au kama qol. :P

Tengok movie dalam bilik gelap. Join jual jual nasi lemak, funding untuk heritage studies.. godek kereta yang locked from the inside, some stories untold, stok kain batik kurang satu, witness gaduh2 manja ahhahah k macam-macam.

A: "Yang orang kata 'hikmah' tu, kadang-kadang dia datang lambat.."
B: "Tu lah.. Kiranya, tak semestinya on the spot.."
C: "Dan tak semestinya hikmah tu directly untuk kita. Mungkin hikmah buat orang lain."

We'll never know indeed.Put our trust, in the Best of Planners.
Usaha, kerja kita.
Hasil, Dia.



Photo and caption by Enjelika 

Kau boleh tengok langit yang maha cantik tu, just from a motorcycle's side mirror. Tak perlu dongak kepala--Macam hidup. Kau tak perlu ada neon sign yang bertulis "anda sedang diuji tuhan, percayalah di sebalik ujian ni, kompem ada hikmah yang akan datang" on your face. Kau cuma kena 'baca' hikmah tu indirectly--Maybe kau terpijak taik ayam on the way gi masjid so terpaksa patah balik tukar selipar baru sambil menyumpah nyumpah sebab takut tak sempat jemaah. Tapi kau tak tau sebenarnya kalau kau teruskan perjalanan ke masjid, ada satu van bercermin gelap tengah tunggu masa je nak culik kau--Read. Just find how to.


You know you've been away from home for too long, when your family came to visit u n ur 13 y-o brother asked,
"Bila balik? Rindu kakak." and that he got so many things to tell. My baby brother's not a baby anymore. He's growing up, fast. :') And tallllll~~~ like ya Allah mana pergi segala lemak2 tepu beliau semua naik jadi ketinggian agaknya.


Epilogue: Tidur.
Cakap pasal tidur. Back in the first year, my room mates, yang jugak my course mate and even yang non-cousemates akan rasa geram gila bila tengok tidur awal. Memang dah janji dengan diri sendiri, ingat apa Allah cakap, malam untuk berehat, siang untuk bekerja. Managed to go through the year dengan lancar, cukup tidur, kerja siap, alhamdulillah.

Tapi this time around, especially awal2 n nak-nak dekat akhir, for that dua minggu terakhir sebelum submission terakhir, I've been forcing myself to stay up late, xtidur, lepas tu gi kelas siang macam biasa and sambung cycle malamnya. Bila tidur? Oh, lelap lelap after every solat. Oh and dlm klas jugak. Sori ustaz...

Kadang-kadang tu ada je satu malam tu stay studio tp satu kerja pun tak jalan sebab dah exhausted sangat, tak boleh nak buat apa. Tak boleh nk compute. Mabuk. Tertidur dekat dalam studio, susun kerusi yang beroda tu elok je buat jadi katil. Thank goodness aircond studio rosak ms tu and xde brothers datang buat kerja dkt studio. Itu okay lagi. Tak tengok lagi dengan kitorang tidur atas lantai, atas meja, eh kepala atas meja, and what not.

Bila tidur dekat surau, ada masalah orang mengintai. Tah apaa motif nak peep orang tidur . -.- Nak tidur, nak rehat dengan aman pun tak tenang.

I remember waking up lepas terlelap dekat lantai, pusing sebelah dengan muka sembap2, a brother was sitting right next to me doing his work, angkat kepala nampak another brother betul2 facing me from his place pastu nak menggeliat tetiba another brother lalu. -.-

Come to an extent dah macam tak nak peduli dah. Apa-apalah. The brothers, they've seen our (the girls') ugly faces. Like, ugly, faces. HAHAH.And no worries ma darlings, setelah sekian lama jadi angan2, kini bilik for sisters only dah siap. The room shall be available only for sisters starting Isya' up till Subuh.. InsyaAllah..

Bila bersembang2 macam mana lah orang dalam kos kita ni boleh ada kekuatan nak kawen masa study. I mean lepas satu satu berita, bertunanglah, kahwinlah, pregnant lah apa..
Tapi ada jugak pros nya. You get yourself a guardian angel merangkap body guard . Eh.
Tapi tapi tapi.
Bila tengok diri sendiri tak terurus, makan tidur tunggang terbalik, ofkos la terpikir-pikir acano nak jaga anak orang, acano nak jaga anak sendiri?


Tu yang macam, most of us girls akan conclude "Kita kena cari yang satu kos, yang dalam dunia ni jugak, sebab diorang mesti faham..." Tapi haritu our lecturer, lecturer Industrial, who is a guy yang belum kahwin, bila my friends asked "Brother, macam mana kitorang-kitorang ni nak kawen? Ada ke orang yang nak, tengok tunggang terbalik hidup macam ni, macam zombie dah?" something like that. HOPING for the lecturer to respond mcm apa yang ktorang fikir, dia jawab..

"Kalau saya, saya tak pilih dah.."
WAHAHHA. NOW GIRLS, DENGAN SIAPA LAGI KITA NAK BERHARAP? hahahah.
k end.

Disclaimer.
Contrary to popular belief (assumptions), no, i am not engaged, na ah, no where near. Kot. Like, come on. Sapelah yg nak...? *rujuk cerita2 di atas.* stop with the "nampak berseri" "balik bertunang ka" and segala spekulasi tak berisi. Leuls. I encountered twice, bila taaruf, juniors cakap i look like i'm married. *tersedak*

Org yg first time jmp bolehlah, they would say that and I cannot say anything melainkan "I'd take that as a duaa" and sometimes I'd say "soon" leuuulls. Layankan je lah. Maybe cause I look old. -.- No, matured. Lalala~
I doubt any of my close friends would even wanna thiiink of me getting married, sambil belajar. My mum would be the first one yang ketawa terbahak-bahak agaknya. But my friends sekeliling pun memang dah mula dah misi mencari masing-masing. Me? Hehhhs. Hehhhhhs. Blergh.
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep.." aherher. I'd pray for the best lah kengkorang semua.

Anyway, terima banyak berita pertunangan kawan2 dan senior, risik2 bertanya, and what not baru2 ni, dr yg senyap2 tetiba bam they came with such news. Haha. Yang paling senyap tu lah yang mengikat dulu, yang dulu paling tak suka cakap pasal lelaki laaaa yang dilamar orang dulu. hahah.
oh and kisah chenta korporat i heard from my room mate, serius mcm drama atau novel. Told ya i got interesting friends around. That's how Dengan Lafaz Bismillah came out. Whatever it is, barakallahulakum everybadeh.

Don't worry about me.
I'll be staying here, put.
 Cutting models.
  Doing technical and 3D drawings..
    Eating instant noodles if I feel like eating.
      Zombie-ing around, being the walking dead.
Sleeping macam dunia ana yang punya lepas selesai semua submisi.
And liking, double tapping your wedding photos.
on facebook, instagram..
Alone.

 Till then.

.gif by herehere

Pencari Tuhan.

Saturday, January 11, 2014


  
too long to tweet in one go, too lazy to break it down.
Yang mencari Tuhan, bukan kita seorang.
Mata sendiri andai tertutup sebelah pun buat dunia nampak lain,
Inikan sepasang mata milik orang lain.
Beri ruang.
Untuk mengajar.
Dan belajar.


"No matter how life distracts you, Close your eyes. Push away the temptations. Close your eyes and run. Run away from Seduction. Run away from glamor and greed. Run away from pleasing the Nafs. Close your eyes and run to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. You will stumble, fall, cry and feel lonely. It’s not easy. Never easy."

Sedang berjalan. 
atau masih merangkak, mungkin.

:) Jannah ..


"You, just go ahead and run to the finish line. I have a few stuff to handle. Tali kasut terlerai, kasut ni pun dah haus, lelah."
"Mana boleh macam tu. Jom lah sekali."
 "Tak pe, tak payah tunggu.. Nanti lambat. Pergilah dulu.."
 "Apa guna lepas garisan penamat tapi nak seronok pun sorang-sorang?"

 Everyone has their own story, their own struggle.
But at the end of the day we're heading towards the same destination.
 Kalau jatuh jangan ditinggal.
Ustaz kata, syurga tu terlalu luas. Jangan takut nak masuk ramai-ramai.

 ___

Needing a break.
Counting days.
Biar akhirnya semua jadi indah,
Walau jalannya tak pernah mudah.
Dan moga lelah, jadi lillah.

____

"Erase whatever in your past and upbringing that taught you that struggling is a bad thing.
Struggling means you're growing."

____

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Dah start cuti!
I praise Allah for all the things that had happened this semester. Interesting semester.

"You know, saying it's 'Interesting' is just the best way to put it, the fact that it's not all fun and play, neither it is all dark and painful."

Been posting long statuses on FB lately, sbb nak ingat, tapi tak sempat blog.
So yeah.

 
Design by Pocket