Ziarah

ATTENTION : You will need to click on the title of each article to read the full post, yang mana rasa macam tergantung..

Rant.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Rant.

Kadang-kadang benda yang akan buat kita rasa tertekan lepas sesi tutorial, is that time bila kita bentang idea and the lecturer starts to question the practicality of our design, how is it gonna work, is it a common practice in Malaysian built environment, is it OKU-friendly?

Dengan masa lebih kurang dua bulan je untuk satu projek, dengan subjek lain yang mengejarnya, kita selalu akan fikir,
"Huk aloh. Biarlah. Kerja aku design. Macam mana nak execute tu boleh fikir kemudian. Tak boleh nak explore-lah kalau asyik fikir teknikal."

But then, being realistic, this thing *is* the framework of life. It *does* involve the whole community, bukan boleh syok sendiri. You'll be facing the real world. You must be aware of the real constraints - money, material, authority, etc.

These two - exploration phase of designing and recognition of the restraints are both equally important, I believe.
 "...architecture is understood to be about movement and use of space, not just transparency of material. "


Selingan: IG: SEPTEMBER 24, 2014.

Igtkot kayu. Rupanya rubber flooring. Pft. Looks deceive, no?

Byk benda menarik jd harini, cerita ceriti, dating dgn Aa. 
Sukahati masuk 2-3 hotel buat mcm ad book bilik turun naik lif dia tgk material apa dia pakai ketuk sana sini utk esemen. Fiuh. 

---
We trust, we believe. Moga yang baik2 aja.

--

 In the end, selalunya kita akan resort to either

1) Do more research on the technical, construction-wise, or,
2) Opt for the, what people call, 'safe design'

First option takes a longer time, no doubt, (unless you already have an archive of successful design construction in your head) but, you'll be a lot more confident to justify what you plan to do.
It'll be a lot easier to design and defend, when you know more, when you read more.
When you belief in your own design.
This, however deals with our time management.
Nak juggle design satu hal, dengan benda lain keliling pinggang dan masa yang terhad untuk satu-satu projek, satu hal lain.

And unfortunately when we fail to grab the essence of our design concept (without forgetting the purpose it is to serve), we hence give up and opt for the second one, Often, tak ada soul.

Our original aim may be achieved within the stipulated time, but we may then realise we haven't done our creative potential justice. And comes the regret.
Or we may have designed it the way we like it, but it's only for aesthetic purpose, it can even be a pain in the back part for a group of, say, people with disability, that we neglected during our design process.

---

Ni sebenarnya nak cakap:

The same thing with our life.

1. Being individuals, it's (very) okay to have our own identity, our own preference.
It's okay to explore. But it's always best to know our purpose.
It's good if we know what is allowed and what is not,
so that what we've been living would not fall in vain.

2. Proclaiming ourselves as a 'dai'e', when it comes to enjoining what is good and forbidding what is bad, it's always best to read up more on our audience - their life stories and the challenges.
"Connect, and correct." 
Or else, it'll become "Safe dakwah" - Only reaching those who already have a basic understanding of this religion, who only need to be reminded of something they already know every now and then.
It's obviously not wrong, but certainly there's still something missing.

Note to self, and those reading.

Vokal. Semester 1, Tahun 3.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Assalamualaikum .
Gonna be a long post. Very long. Definitely.

Vokal
Heritej en Kentemperreri
Kalau perasan, I've been talking about this Heritage and Contemporary Studies dari, first year lagi. 
Dah masuk third year, first semester ni sebenarnya, baru lah subjek ni didaftarkan secara official dekat slip masing-masing. 
Tapi ya Allahhhh subjek yang satu ni, credit hournya 3, contact hournya kalau atas kertas hitam putih tulis 3 jam juga, tapi sebenarnya 3 tahun! and counting!


Concept team in the making. Planning of the Exhibition layout.

Somehow I think this Heritage thing is making the monster out of me.
More like reliving revealing the demon inside. 

Banyak termarah orang, 
Banyak tertinggi suara. 
Banyak mengeluhh. . sadly.

Mula-mula, tahan dulu. Tapi jadi ceritanya dah kalau sampai balah dengan lecturer tiap kali kelas macam jadi benda wajib semester ni..... *tapisapejetaknaikanginmasakelastu.* aherher. 

Asalnya these emotional changes, affected just the course dan manusia-manusia yang terlibat, tapi makin lama terbawa-bawa ke urusan lain. 

I realise I'm getting vocal lately, makin berani lepas je. Takde tahan-tahan dah. That, I am aware of. 
Plus pointnya dalam bidang design, you're able to defend your design. Minus point nya, oh well. You could guess. Yang veteran confirm-confirm akan cop biadapnya la hai budak-budak sekarang.
"Kamu jangan nak defensive sangat. Dengar dulu cakap saya. Saya dah banyak tulis report-report ni, kitorang buat PHD bukan sebulan dua. yadda yadda."
k.

Not Saying Yes Immediately.
Kalau sebelum ni asyik terjepit dengan masalah tak boleh kata "tak nak", asyik jadi 'yes man', kali ni kadang-kadang tu sampai completely the opposite - payah benar nak cakap "ye, ok, boleh, xde masalah". ada je soalannya. 

Masa a studiomate of mine was asking if I could be her proposer, sebab dia nk bertanding dalam pilihanraya kampus, it took me a while to say "Yeah, sure."

I even asked her to brief us her manifesto first, before I sign the paper. I wanna be convinced. Kalau ikutkan senang je situasinya, kawan mintak tolong support dia nak jadi wakil kuliyyah, just take the pen and ink your signature down je lah. Bukannya tak kenal dia siapa pun. But no, I didn't do that, sesegeranya.

Eventually I was not satisfied. I, and a couple of others, actually asked her, "Betul akak nak bertanding? Atau disuruh?" Hew. Dan ya, beliau akui memang ada peratusan she was 'selected' by a group of people to represent them in the election. 

"Akak, benda ni benda besar tau. Ni Amanah. Kalau Syaza sign ni maknanya Syaza percaya dengan akak. Tapi honestly, Syaza belum dapat rasa lagi yang akak memang nk represent us, bebudak KAED ni."
 Muka beliau masa tu dah sebek, merobek jiwa ambe yang kekonon keras membatu tapi basah berlumut ni. Isk. I hate myself. Baru nak acah-acah garang. Hahaha.
"Tapi, Syaza sign jugak ni, as a support from a friend, untuk kawan dia yang ada potensi untuk asah skill dalam politik, untuk asah soft skill dia. For experience. But promise me, promise us, you'd do this betul-betul sebab nak buat. Get comfortable with the manifesto, make it betul2 from your heart. Tau?"

So yeah sebenarnya last-last saya sign juga. Hahah. So much for a stern Syaza.
But sadly things happened and this friend of mine and a few others tak dapat bertanding. Politik. UIA.

Anyway. 


Stood Up.
And and, masa betul-betul tak nak mengalah masa berurusan dengan mahallah office.
Kisahnya terlupa drop kunci bilik, so I posted it from Penang. And called MO to make sure they received the key. Masuk semester, cek saman, tak ada. Lega. About 3-4 months later, nak kena setelkan saman, *oh sebab proposer or seconder tak boleh ada saman. haha, tahu2 ada satu saman tak selesai lagi.

"FAILURE TO RETURN ROOM KEY"
semester 3, year two.
ohoooi  bila masaaaaaaa. no way im paying another RM50 for a key yang sekeping tu. noooo way. I thought dah clear dah benda ni. So I went to the office and bertegas cakap I've mailed it and have confirmed it with one of the Mahallah Officers through the phone, even checked the compound before this semester started the other day. 
but no, the lady went,
"Failure to return tak semestinya tak pulangkan... Kamu hantar lambat pun jadi failure." dengan muka takde perasaannya. I was so so sure memang hantar sebelum tarikh paling lewat pulang kunci. 

Then I asked her, could she please call the lady who said everything was okay.. Katanya beliau tak ada, boleh jadi balik lambat lagi. 5.30 macam tu. Masa tu pukul 4.30. Lepas tu bising lagi,

"Yang kamu call tu dia kena manage semua benda. Mungkin dia tak bagitahu kitorang. Kitorang yang uruskan key in denda-denda ni."
And yeah I said this to her,
"Tak bolehlah macam tu. Tak communicate lah maknanya." Marah . sikit. 
Muka dia dah berubah. Ok macam dah selalu sangat buat orang sentap sampai nampak muka berubah. Hoh. Jahatnya hamba. T.T
So beliau pun ameklah buku log saman-saman pelajar. Asked me to read the compound number.

Guess what? It was not mine. Dia salah key in. Waiiiived. Alhamdulillah. 

Ceritalah situasi ni to two of my dear friends, one of them went,
"Hang kenapa eh?"
"Kenapa?"
"Dulu hang tak macam ni. Dulu hang diam je."

Ouch. That, to be honest, hurt me. A little. At that moment. At that point.
To think sampai beliau tegur macam tu, 'Oh no, what have I done this time?' 'Was it wrong?'
I should really just keep my mouth shut, huh? Memang patut telan je semua benda nanti dah tua boleh cerita kat cucu-cicit, nenek ni baik, penyabar, lemah lembut orangnya. Nenek tak kisah kena pijak. Biar kita kena pijak asalkan hati kita tetap merah delima. Gittu.

Teringat one of my FB status updates last Feb,
'Kerana masih punya adab, kerana sedar anak timur, kadang-kadang rasa marah, sedih atau kecewa, fikirnya baik ajalah terus terpendam, biar akhirnya sekadar jadi pengalaman si nenda yang setia bercerita.'

Kadang-kadang rasa nak masking tape mulut. Cause boy this tongue is a sword. 

Then that other friend said,
"Perlu, Caje.. Kadang-kadang benda ni perlu. Kalau tak, jadi kes aniaya."

Thank you.
Being adabful doesn't equate to being quiet, yes?
No? Okay.

Moga Allah pandu hati, jiwa dan lidah ni untuk cakap yang perlu, untuk cakap yang baik-baik saja.

***
Permulaan Tahun Tiga

Setiap Sem - 'Rasa nak give up.'
Cerita pasal semester ni, ya Allah penatnya berganda-ganda. Lecturers keep saying
"Kita dah nak lepas u all for practical ni."
"You are already third level,  should be mature enough for the design field."
so workload takyah ckp, mmg gaya dah macam zombie tunggang terbalik trying to juggle everything.

Macam tak percaya we made it pun ada. Banyak kali rasa nak give up, seriously. Serious cakap.
Ok macam tiap2 sem cakap gini. Tapi setiap sem tu, level rasa nak give up to directly proportional to the level of study. Haha.


Tapi memang macam tu agaknya. Momen nak putus asa, masa tu memang kita nampak semuanya mustahil. Tapi kita takkan tahu kita boleh sebenarnya, until we walked through it, until we ran pass it. Masa tu lah rasa 'Hek eleh. Kemain je haritu rasa give up tak boleh teruskan dah. Boleh je sebenarnya.'

I wasn't doing my very best rasanya, personally, sebab rasa mampu buat lebih lagi but I didnt. For some reasons.

Overboard Trying?
Oh. There was this one time, a dear dear friend, sitting one cubicle away from me, sent a photo through whatsapp, of me and the one next to me, nampak sangat focus menghadap komputer, buat kerja.
Caption, "Presenting, sumber stress abadi."

Haip. Terdiam. Terus, decided to take five, turun bawah to the ground level, pergi vending machine sorang-sorang tetengah pagi buta tu. Duduk sesorang dekat compound yang sunyi sepi tu, boleh kata tengah sesi muhasabah lah. Leuls.

Kita tengah cuba untuk taknak putus asa. Tengah cuba untuk nampak kuat untuk diri sendiri, untuk orang lain. Tapi mungkin it went far ahead. Tak perasan perbuatan kita tahu tahu sebenarnya melelahkan orang. Sedihlah jugak masa tu. Masa tu lah. Come to think of it, I need a break jugak myself.

Tapi teringat Brother Ariff, my lecturer for the past year.
"Caje, kita lacking of competition lah in here. It's always the same people yang ada dekat atas. You ada ability to go further, you gerak je, jangan tunggu. Biar ada orang rasa tercabar nak kejar you."
"Taktahulah, brother. Saya taksuka bila saya terlaju sikit people would go "Tudiaa tudia.." "Dah-dahlah tu... ""
"Let them be. Biarlah ada healthy competition among you guys."
"I don't know, brother."
"You laju, it's their responsibility to kejar. Jangan biar they drag you pulak untuk slow."

tak pernah berniatpun buat orang lain rasa perlu kejar, lebih-lebih lagi buat diri sendiri rasa perlu mengejar. I just do what I wanna do. Ada betul apa brother cakap, but mungkin ye lah, I don't fancy competing with anyone. I just hope everyone makes it, we all make it, dengan bahagia. No hard feelings,  no heart feeling.

-
Anyhow, selalu rasa, kalau orang sekeliling tengah down, apa sebenarnya patut kita buat? Lagak kuat untuk bagi semangat, atau embrace the sadness and be sad too, untuk raikan perasaan dia masa tu?
Kalau kuatkan diri dan bagi support, some people find it very annoying, to be comforted with words of advice masa tengah sedih, I know, I feel as such too at times. Tapi Aina pernah ckp if it was her, takpe, cakap je apa2 dlu, dia akan fikir balik once dia dh calm down. 
Kalau be sad too, takut dragged and things get worse.
:/

Sometimes, I choose to just rant an honest opinion, cakap je apa dlm hati, tolong sama-sama timbangkan baik buruk benda yg berlaku.. some other time, I'd choose to stay silent, tembak doa dan harapan, and let time heal.

Almost Falling Away.
Ada masa-masa saya sendiri betul-betul on the edge of breaking down, yang buat saya baca dan ingat balik apa yang sendiri tulis/ckp dekat orang lain.

Contoh, untuk final project subjek Custom Cabinet and Furniture Design haritu.

Kena design dan buat 1:1 scale punya prototype of a furniture. I actually looked forward to learning this subject since CFS lagi. One of the very reasons I took Interior pun sbb tgk subjek ni bawah subjek wajib ID, bkn IDE. Walaupun rupanya IDE nanti ada projek buat furniture jugak. Hey, I didnt know that. K .

So I actually spent some time designing, with the end result in mind, to be exactly as I imagined. Tapi 'masa' tu sangat limited to focus on it semata2, dengan Heritagenya, dengan Lightingnya, dengan Studionya lagi-lagi, I scheduled myself to go to the workshop selang seminggu or dua minggu, potonglah bahagian2 kayu yg perlu sikit demi sikit. Potong perspek 80cm dalam ngantuk2 pun, gagahkan diri.

Because I know my design is complicated, nak tak nak, larat ke tak, I had to gerak sikit-sikit. Last minute memang tak jadi apa.
Selesai potong semua part, tgl nak assemble je so tak usik dah. baru rasa boleh tarik nafas sikit, boleh letak tepi jap and prepare for portfolio day nntnya.

End of Portfolio Day marks the end of studio work. :D

Dijadikan cerita, lagi 3 hari nak submit, dengan satu hari tu cuti Krismas which means workshop tutup, I had to face a bitter truth; some of the parts went missing. IMPORTANT PARTS pulak tu.
Dengan working drawingnya tak ada lagi, dengan bbrp jam to submission, rasa... numb.
Igtkot dah habis safe dah buat sikit-sikit, sekali bam! Allah tarik gitu je through tah sape-sape yang rembat atau terrembat..

Tenung kayu-kayu yg tinggal tu. Fikir, mungkin sempat kalau nak potong balik kayu-kayu yang hilang. Tapi dah lemau. Baru habis portfolio day. Plus, ramai orang dkt workshop. Tambah yang tak potong apa lagi, I should give in bg dorg guna dlu.

Tenung lagi.
Taufiq, he's a senior, who has been provoking me utk cepat2 siapkan meja tu sejak hari first potong kayu, was there and said,

"Tukar design lah, Syaza, apa lagi."

Masa tu dengan stress Heritage gi buat kelas ganti time study week, every freaking day nya, mmg takbolehlah nak fikir. Bila masanya nak perah otak. Luckily enough he offered to help think of a new solution, based on what I had left. Teringat dia pernah cakap, "Aku hidup ni, satu je, aku nak menyenangkan orang." God bless you, young man.
Satisfied with the new design and justification, but was still very sad,
I decided to take a nap dalam stor, em, surau sisters.

By the way Hafiz, pernah marah bila cakap I would resort to sleeping every time encountered design or creative block and xtau nak buat mcm mana..
"That is not solving anything!!"

Hew. Nak buek camno.

But before tidur tu, bukak balik a few conversations I had with some friends. Conversation of a Syaza giving semangat to others and her future self yg mungkin akan down nanti. Of which futurenya tu dah mai dah.. And sobbed myself to sleep.

"A believer is one who believes everything that has happened, is happening and will happen, is all for the good and tailored just for him."
"Tak dapat tak, kita kena put our utmost trust in the One yang tahu our past, present and future."

"Allah gives nothing but the best, yes?"
"Be sad, but don't drag. Kita dah usaha sedaya kita."

'I said those to my friends. I shall say that to myself now... Now now Syaza, tarik nafas, tidur dulu.'

Bangun tu, terus gagahkan diri start assemble. "Be sad, but don't drag"... mantra.

Tak cerita lagi dengan berapa kali letak gam kayu n wood filler but asyik terlanggar masa belum kukuh, and bam semuanya pecah, kena fill lagi skali. Asalnya nak balik mandi Zohor tu, but terpecah, so plan nk balik Asar. Terlanggar lagi, terpaksa duduk balik sampailah Maghrib. Then dtg balik after Isya' sambung letak finishing.

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal, managed to finish on time, walaupun the finishing touch honestly suck sbb nak cepat. If only I could really focus on the making, buat betul2, putty, sand, sand, sand, spray n what not, but pft. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Dah submit tu, tgl satu je lagi. Interior Design - Materials and Technology 2.
Final assigment untuk duduk menghadap the depressing black screen of AutoCAD sebelum balik bercuti.

Paling mudah nak tegur diri sendiri, motivate diri dgn cara tengok kawan-kawan yang sangat kuat semangatnya. Macam kakhawa. Atau kakpijohs.

Terima kasih jugak, untuk teman-teman, adik-adik yang mengharukan jiwa ni dengan kata-kata dorg. Sampai mengalir air mata terharu on the spot. This is a very rare scene for a Syaza tau dak.  

***
Energy.
Mak Abah dtg kl, mcm biasalah kenduri anak kekawan ... free dinner dkt restoran kawan mak yg dah 30 tahun x jumpa. hewhew
Awal sem MakAbah dah datang dah, sekali dengan Apiq and Adik for the award-giving ceremony. 
Energy recharged. 

***
Rolling down the lane.
Haritu Aa tanya sem bila beliau  dapat lesen. Told her boleh cek conversation dkt wassep. I still keep it and I remember sending her memes of her being able to drive a car. Scrolled sampai mula2 sembang n Aa terjerumus nak baca balik.... sampai tak sedar disapa seekor anjing hohoh.

Had a good time laughing n explaining itu ini ckp pasal apa.

"So ni lah yang Caje duk buat selalu?" Aa tanya. Senyum je.
Revisiting the memory lane, again and again. Mcm ritual kot.

"I was like this dlu..? Hantaq benda mengarut2... La ni asyik hantaq mesej kt Caje, "Caje, malasnyaaaa.""

:)

***
Konversasi.
Ah, I've encountered a lot of interesting conversations this semester. Told you I have interesting friends around. Tahu2 je nanti adalah tu something that you said jadi dialog dalam cerpen baru. Eh? *kekening*

InsyaAllah, moga apa yang terkongsi ni, ada manfaatnya.

---
No way back? Detour.
Banyak cakap sungguh kawan saya yang seorang ni. Tapi semua yang dia ckp menarik, only that I had a lot of work, banyak mendengar je, sampailah ada sekali tu,

"Aku kalau boleh nak orang rumah aku jadi cikgu sekolah, aku jadi lecturer. Kau tahu tak dua phase ni lah yang paling penting dalam hidup kita...?"
"Betul." Tangan masih genggam mouse, menghadap sketchup project 2, Bus Terminal. Klik. Klik.
Beliau sambung, "Masa nilah kau nak kena kenal dunia, nak kena pilih jalan hidup. Kalau kau dah tersalah jalan, habislah, mana boleh patah balik."

Terhenti.

"Ada pulak.. Kenapa cakap tak boleh patah balik? Never lose hope." Berhenti buat kerja. Take five. Sandar and jadilah komunikasi dua hala. Ni soal harapan, soal jangan putus asa dengan orang.
"Eh aku cakap betul ni. Katakan kau dah salah pilih jalan, kau dah jalan jauh, memang tak lah nak patah balik.."
"Tak semestinya kena patah balik kan? Mungkin ada jumpa jalan lain on the way tu. Even kalau kita nak patah balik n took that other road untraveled pun, apa salahnya, biarlah. Our journey may be lambat sikit, tapi its our own individual journey. We're not in a race pun kan?"
"Betullah tu. Aku teringat kawan aku dekat sekolah dulu. Akulah yang banyak bg support dekat dia sebenarnya. Baru-baru ni aku jumpa dia, kau tahu tak satu benda aku takboleh nak terima, dia bagi aku kad! Kad kahwin! Pastu sekarang dia kerja dekat bank. Aku yang yadda yadda...."

Haha. Menarik. :) sambung buat kerja, sambil dengar celoteh yang seorang ni. Oh this friend of mine said I look like his mother. Leuls. Sbb tu I guess he finds it easy to talk to me psl random stuff, even pasal harga minyak motor -.- walaupun baru kenal. Aa ckp mgkin jugak sebab I really listen. Orang memang appreciate kalau kita dengar. So yeah. I made a new friend in the studio, akhirnya muka baru setelah lebih dua tahun menghadap muka yang sama. hahaha.

---
"Ish sakit mata lah aku tengok orang pakai ketat-ketat. Macam baju tu dah ketat, tarik lagi jadi double ketat."
Tiba-tiba. Terdiam. This is said to me, by the same species but of different gender. Malu lah.
"Janganlah tengok..."
"Macam mana ko expect aku tak tengok kalau jalan depan aku? Ko tegurlah."
Loading.
"Tak retilah, to be honest."
"Alah ko bawak lah dia jalan-jalan, shopping sekali, pastu ko bagitau dia."
"Ntahlah kadang-kadang benda ni, tak senang macam kita cakap. Buat je semua tu, make friends, but belum berani lagi nak tegur direct gitu.. Macam mana eh nak cakap, benda yang kita faham, tak semua orang faham dengan mudahnya. Sebab upbringing kita lain. Tahu memang kena tegur. Tahu tu.. Tapi itulah." Shrugged. Kecewa dengan diri sendiri?

---
"Tu, meeting budak-budak competition. Ko tak join pulak?"
"Tak minat."
"Ye ke? Nampak gaya ko mcm je.."
"Takdelah. Tak competitive."
"Ahaha maknanya, kalau kau nak cari suami, kau cari yang senang dapat lah, takde rebut-rebut?"
-.-
But yeah. Mungkin.
---
Pimpin, atau dipimpin?
Me: Seriouslah akak mmg xnak langsung langsung langsung?
A: Ya Allah Caje. Macam tu ke nak jadi imam?
Me: Ntahlah. Macam mana nak cakap. I believe he looks at you as support for him to continue and be better.
B: Hang macam vertebrae dia tau dak, tulang belakang ni ha, tulangg ni untuk dia berdiri.
A: Boleh bayang tak perasaan orang tergila-gilakan kita, buat kita rasa insecure.
Me: Honestly lah, orang tak tergila-gilakan Syaza pun Syaza xpernah experience, inikan pulak perasaan ada orang nak sgt dkt Syaza. Hahah. Ok. Continue.
B: Tau dak, mak ambe cakap baik kita yang perempuan, kawen dengan org yang nak kat mu, drpd yg mu nak kat org. Tak mustahil untuk bosan lepas dah lama kahwin.
A: Tapi mestilah kita nak yang terbaik untuk diri kita.
Me: Hmm. Kalau sekarang, Syaza boleh cakap I agree utk settle down dgn org yg nakkan kita. Tapi, katakan one day jadi dkt Syaza, dgn Syaza yang suka question rationality sstu, boleh jadi nnt Syaza akan hesitant utk terima kalau Syaza sendiri langsung xde perasaan. Tapi for now, in your situation pulak, go for it je lah.
A: Tau tak dia yadda yadda yadda
Me: That's because he really wants youuu. Tapi ye lah. Betullah tu apa akk ckap, kita perempuan ada hak untuk memilih sebaiknya.
Whatever is best lah for both of you. Tu je yang mampu harap sekarang ni.
B: Erti kata lain, dia sbnrnya nak hampa dua kahwin.
A: Ntahlah. Well ambe tak boleh cakap apa, kalau ada jodoh, adalah. Ambe pun tak boleh tolak. We'll see.
Me: Syaza percaya dia tengah prepares himself. He'll ask for your hands in marriage once again, bila dia dah ready. Even if it takes another 10-20 years.
C: Yup. Percaya benda tu boleh berlaku. Tengoklah.
A: Kalau masa tu dia dh jd someone better, dan ambe pun tak kawen lg, then mungkin, mungkin, ambe akan terima dia.  


Pehhhh. Drama tak drama kisah kawan ai sorang ni. Hahaah.
dah macam Elliot Yamin waiting for Taylor Swift coming back to December. ohohoho k bai
---
Coffee
Datang studio awal pagi. Ada Hakim je. Orang lain baru balik agaknya. Singgah kafe dlu, beli nasi goreng for breakfast. Hakim yang baru nak turun tanya,
"Syaza nak coffee? Hakim belikan."
"Tak naklah." Why would I. Kalau nak, dah beli dah, I just came from cafe lagipun.. Sambung buat kerja.
"Tak nak, coffee?" Tanya lagi, nada kecewa.
"Taknak, Hakim, thank you." Sambung buat kerja.
"Alah... nak lahh!!" burst.
Hahahah. Terkejut ambe. Kelakar ingat balik Hakim insisted suruh cakap "Nak"
"Ok, ok. Boleh lah. Berapa nak bayar?"
"My treat.." senyum lebar, seronok betul dia nak belanja orang pagi tu.

Serius kelakar ingat balik but I learnt something, jgnlah terus tolak kalau ada orang nak belanja. Kalau orang tengah nak belanja, it must be because of something  good just happened to them. So kalau kita menolak, macam dah jatuhkan sikit mood dia. Terima je, raikan their happiness. Nak-nak pulak awal-awal pagi, starting of a lonnng day. Ingat balik, if I was in a good mood, selalu je rasa nak belanja orang dan akan kecewa kalau org tu tolak terus mula-mula offer. What a reminder. Terbaik.
-
Oh, Hakim is one of my studiomates yang buat bisnes dalam studio. Dia jual maggie, air kotak, air mineral... and I have my own carton, bottles of mineral water utk kelangsungan hidup dekat studio. Haritu terletak kotak air dekat tempat dia selalu letak air untuk dijual.
When he came with new stock,
"Ni... Syaza punya...?"
"Oh. Ha ah." Diam. "Ehhhh jap jap Syaza alihkan. Syaza tak jual, tak jual, don't worry."
ahhahah. Get it?
Nvm.

---
The whole studio panas membara hari tu, Aina came up with this line,
"Takut nak cuba benda baru, nak sangat ikutkan skrip dunia!"
*claps*

***
OhSoFine Dine.
Untuk Project One, Fine Dining Restaurant, we had our case study at one of restoran fine dine dekat malaysia. takdelah fine dine sangat. but it was gila expensive so we shared one full meal untuk tiga orang. pft. roti jala 3 gulung RM25. It's not like we're there to taste their food pun, masuk sbb nak survey the interior je. Masa bayar bil, they gave us this. COINS. RM5 COINS. oh so fine. 
mcm insult pun ada. 
tp xpe, fine, fine, boleh guna buat duit laundry. 
But our site was breathtaking. Lawa kan?
Memang padanlah, kawasan korporat. 
Masa kitorang lunch dekat situ, the conversation I heard,
"Oh Dato'! Come and have a sit. Tan Sri is on his way here..." krik krik krik and we're just a bunch of school kids.


By the way I really like my outing with Aa haritu, pergi sekitar KLCC for Materials and Technology 2. Teringat our escapism to KLCC ms second sem first year dulu, yang alih-alih tido dekat Masjid asy-Syakirin. hahah.
And found out Aa's and Kak Syima's clients for Project 1 rupanya of a walking distance je from KLCC.

***
PTs
I managed to spend one whole day dengan Aliaa and Biela this semester. Aliaa and Hafi balik Malaysia sekejap. Biela yang Kulliyyah sebelah pun jarang beno jumpanya... memang kena bebel lahh dengan makcik2 ni.
"Hang tau dak Aliaa aku ni kalau nak jumpak Caje selalu unintended! Jumpak tepi jalan lelong lelong lagu tu!" aherher

Ada kisah jubah dan pashmina, dan video mengarut sent to Hafie sbagai making up masa beliau takde dengan kitorang. :)
Good time, good time.

"Dengan siapa lagi Aliaa boleh macam ni?" *Aliaa cries*

Keluar satu hari suntuk dengan manusia bertiga ni. lain hari lah tapi. 

"Jauh di mata, dekat di..."
"Telingaaaaaa!!!!" 

Biela, our YB was sooo soo busy asyik tengok phone, kena panggil meeting lah apa, Aliaa who was driving masa tu, went
"Just tell them I'm with someone who I haven't met for so long and we would only be meeting again in another FREAKING TWO YEARS, SO GO AWAYYY!"
hahah

We bought jubahs and pashmina of the same pattern but different colours, and I, being the one who never actually pakai shawl dkt u, di-challenge to wear full set one day and send them a photo.
"Caje since awak cakap tak kisahlah pakai tudung apa pun, it should be fineee isn't it, to see you wearing shawl??" *kekening*

***
Speak Up!
I reaaaally reaaaally like my Public Speaking and Contemporary Issues class. I reallyyy love the ambiance, the instructor, my classmates. Mostly bebudak Law amek kelas skill ni. So diorang semua very outspoken and spontaneous.

It was that one class I was always lazy to go but will definitely end up feeling very good about it once the class is over, like, the feeling you really gained something.

Seronok. My OFF-KAED moment.

Sebenarnya for our final assessment, ada Public Speaking tournament among best speakers untuk setiap section, and I was selected, alhamdulillah. Tapi tak mampu bahagi masa sebab masa tu memang betul2 tengah peak, betul2 tengah nak submit final project.
Walaupun call mak and mak cakap pergi je lah, mana tahu nnt dapat idea... tak semestinya kena duduk dalam studio. Kumpullah sikit kekuatan, "I can do this. I can still join the tournament and still finish my studio work."
But no. Sadly.. Terpaksa akur 'I'm not gonna make it,' terpaksa tarik diri last minute.
Walaupun sedaya usaha taknak pandang credit hour, and go for the sake of experience, tak boleh, 6 cred hour punya subject dengan point5 credit hour. .... Isk. Menyesal pun ada, tapi tak boleh main dengan kalau. ... so yeah. bukan rezeki.

Saya memang gemar bercakap kat depan, depan orang yang tak dikenali. Hence I really like the fact that dalam kelas tu tak de orang yang saya kenal. :)

by the way by the wayyyyy one achievement unlocked this semester.
For KAEDFEST '14, ada Student Talk on Built Environment. I was approached by the organiser to represent the Applied Arts and Design department. Mula-mula sangat reluctant nak accept the offer, dengan tutorial requirement banyak tak siap lagi, memanglah... tapi bila lagi? This is my chance untuk speak up what I have in my mind pasal the common misconceptions dalam bidang ni.

and audiencenya nanti mostly first year students, that what I was being informed. So, apa salahnya shift the definition paradigm awal-awal ni.

Tahu-tahu, hari talk tu they said there'll be design students from Taylor's College PLUS THE LECTURERS, ARCHITECTS AND DESIGN PRACTITIONERS sekitarnya. Apa cek nak merapu dah tak sempat nak revamp my audience study lagi berapa jam nak start talk.

Punyalah nak sorok dari kawan-kawan studio supaya diorang tak datang, minggu talk tu semua bertanya. Rupa-rupanya dah ditampal posters merata KAED with the names of the speakers on. -.-
Alhamdulillah, though, buat hari Jumaat. Hari Studio. Semua orang busy studio and no way dapat join the talk. Hihi.

Photo by KaedFest14 committee.

Kalau orang tanya how was it, I would say I hated it. Sebab I was being very informal and santai-santai where everyone else letak fakta gila-gila punya, research study and what not. Mesti those professors tengok cek macam, "Shallownya budak ni punya input." Ohohoh.

But hey, beberapa minggu lepas tu, pergi beli barang dekat kedai stationery UIA, WAQEC, the cashier tegur,
"Syaza kan?"
*Gulp* "Ye...saya....?" Do I know you, brother?
"Yang bagi talk hari tu?"
"Talk apa..eh.... ooohhhhh" terus tutup muka dengan buku sebab malu. Oh Lord.
"Common Misconceptions of Islamic Arts and Design kan?"
"Ha ah...." Ya Allah HE EVEN REMEMBERED MY TOPIC. Tak tahu nak rasa apa.
"Menarik. Yang lain saya tak berapa minat, tak berapa faham sangat."
Bila dia cakap macam tu, so I asked,
"Oh? First year ke?"
"Eh taklah . Fourth year."
Nak terjatuh rahang cek.. cover cover. "Ah.. Kos..?" Nak kata budak AAD jugak, tak pernah nampak pun. So he might be from other department.
"Psychology."

*jatuh rahang*

***
Last but not least, "I got a paper heart."

***
Banyak lagi. Sekianlah dulu. Till then.

:)

mendadak betei turun blog post tahun 2014.


tidak dikenali, lebih tenang.
lebih bahagia.
sekadar yang biasa.
marhaen.
 
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