Ziarah

ATTENTION : You will need to click on the title of each article to read the full post, yang mana rasa macam tergantung..

That time I'm feelin... Generous

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Semalam nak hantar mak pi teman abah dialysis.
On the way ada Pesta Orkid (and other pokok bunga). Mak tengah duk menanam macam-macam jenis bunga ros, Sabar Roses collection katanya. Terapi mawar.

"Japgi berhenti singgah jap, mak nak beli ros siam. Tempat bunga mak ada kosong lagi." Hahah okay mem.

Teringat two of my previous clients, both of them nampak muda lagi, and diorg belanja parents utk renovate rumah dan tempah kitchen cabinet berpuluh ribu. Fiuhh, cek tak(belum) mampuuu lgi. And they are both single ladies in their late 20s early 30s.

And since pagi tu baru lepas belanja orang, why not malam ni belanja mak.... "Mak pilihlah mana nak, Aja..belanja, ni je mampu ahahah"

Balik mak was so happy dapat bunga ros purple dan oren.
"Tengkiuu." like a child getting new toys.


On the way ke hospital, dalam kereta, tiba-tiba mak cakap
"Haritu mak nampak ada sorang tu dia ckp dkt anak dia, "Habislah duit ibuuu. Habislahhh.""

Awh mummy's saying she's happy kita belanja dia. Huhuh padahal berapa ringgit je pun.

--
Harini kena hantar atok pi klinik kesihatan, biasanya Along yang pi. (I really don't like pi bank, pi klinik yang bersistem-sistem nak kena go through lepas meja ni ke meja tu then ke bilik ni and all that).
Sarung skirt over my kain batik, sweater over my short sleeves. Mcm biasa. Selekeh.

Habis session, it was still so early in the morning, lapaq and I got (less than) "twenty 'ringgit' in my pocckett" 🎶 ajaklah atok pi makan capati..
"Wan dah makan ke tok?"
"Takpalah bungkuih bg kat wan hang sama, dua keping roti canai.." Oraitt. No problemmmm. Oh teh dan air suam.

Then mak whatsapp;
"Sebelum balik nnt tlg belikan nasi lemak.." Alamak, bajet pagi ni lari.
"Roti canai nak tak?"
"Bolehlah kalau nak beli." *set dalam kepala at least RM10. Or maybe more. Takpalah, cukup, cukup.*

Tetiba atok bangun pi tgk lauk untuk makan tengahari... Atok mcm tak minat,
"Sebelah ni ada kedai lauk gak," I suggested. Lupa padahal ada berapa ringgit je lg.
"Takpa, duk makan capati dulu. Satgi kita pi tengok."

Bayar.
"RM6.50"
"Eh? Dah masuk sekali semua?" I don't know kira macam mana but okayy so ada bajet lebih untuk ke kedai sebelah.
I saw RM10 so if it's less than RM10 we're all good.

Pi kedai sebelah.
Atok tgk mcm nak semua lauk. Panas-panas lagi semua.
Kita dalam kepala dah fikir nak tinggal telefon ke IC ke, buat cagaran satgi mai balik bayaq ahahaha.
"Ikan ni buh kuah dia banyak sikit. Tokua ni dua ketui."
"Sayuq nak tak tok?" (in a failed penang dialect)
"Ha bolehlah."

Tetiba org kedai bwk keluo satu periuk baru sudah masak. "Asam pedaih ikan pari mau dak? Asam pedaih melaka." Atodddiaa.
"Bolehlah." Atok. Mmg kena tinggal fon ni 😂😂😂

Nak bayar.
"RM4..RM3.. RM2..bla bla." please cukup please cukup. Tapi still ready nak cagar fon.
"RM12." huhuhuhuhuh well I saw RM1 tadi and syiling baki roti canai tadi 50sen.
"Duit atok ada ni."
"Eh tak....pa.. *seluk poket jumpa syiling 50sen* ada, ada..!"

Cukup.
Cukup.

Alhamdulillah. Ya Allah saat-saat pengharapan total kepada Allah gitu. 

--
Balik rumah, "Alahai berapa keping je kakak beli. Eh nasi lemak takde? Igt beli tambahan roti canai tadi."

Akakakak shhs. Kita-kita je tahu. Sorry ya ummi ana pokai pagi ni.


😅😅
Sekian.

Kenapa nak jadi cikgu pulak?

Wednesday, August 23, 2017



"Kenapa nak jadi cikgu pulak?" Now I know why TFM fellows often write lengthy essays to validate their reasons to join, people are asking and disbelieving indeed.

I think I've said it once on this blog, I used to not want to be a teacher, not in any ways trying to degrade teachers, not at all, but because I look at it as a noble profession, I did not feel like I would be good enough as a teacher. I doubted my ability to teach. But as I grow, I find the need to push myself forward and this seems to be one of the ways. 

---

A couple of months before resigning and off to a new working life. InsyaAllah, if everything went well. A few stages passed and a few more to go. After a Rancangan Orientasi Sekolah where we'll be shadowing our respective fellowship ambassador, we'll have two-months Pre-service Programme before reporting in, for the next two-year school session.

That being said, I'll be taking a break from the 'design working world' and dive into the teaching profession. This is not something I do baselessly. I have discussed with people around me, myself(?), my parents, my friends, my teachers and lecturers, my current employer, and I end up fortifying a few (a lot of) reasons why I'm doing this and I can even categorise which one to answer to specific people.. leuls. And thus, no I am not withdrawing from the design life. In fact, I am trying to delve even deeper into it. It's a different road, yes, but it still is a way towards it.

Personal motivation: To at least give something back to the society while at the same time developing myself in something other than design, BEFORE continuing to go after my personal pursuit in my career and education development, in interior design.

In a lot of things, I had always wanted to stay behind the scene, but most of the time I still got pushed to the front line, and forced (or I myself felt obliged) to lead something. This time around, I'm taking this as my very own voluntary step forward to (learn how to) lead.

"Go for the knowledge" is something I chant all the time, my mantera. Now it's time to spread the agenda. I'll have an audience for a start: my students. Buuut it is up to me to engage with them first. Please make du'aa.

Interior design basis:
"The improvement of environment through interior design is NOT ONLY aesthetics but also functionality and productivity." My focus in design had always been on the multisensory interior, specifically in the learning environment. I can, if I want to, just enrol in a post-graduate school and research on 'the best design approach for students', but I choose to get first-hand experience: BE IN THE SCHOOL. It definitely won't be a direct effect, an immediate impact, I know. "Oh I have done a research now I want to present the best school design proposal and get it applied in Malaysia." No. The building programme for Malaysian schools are administered by the Ministry of Education, I know my voice is gonna be like a whisper, but at least I'll have this opportunity to understand better and to eventually try and get my idea across.

In fact, however grandeur or sophisticated the building design is, it will remain a soulless architecture, if the environmental effect is not achieved. And I believe one of the ways to it is through education - an active interaction of human beings at a setting, a two-way process of teaching and learning, of teachers and learners where sometimes the teachers are the learners instead and the students are the one offering something to teach, beyond the academic value.

And hopefully with my one foot stepped into the education world, I'll be given a chance to spark a change.

---
If anyone is interested to read:
Desa Mahkota by Eleena Jamil Architect: http://www.archdaily.com/470704/desa-mahkota-school-eleena-jamil-architect
School design is not to blame: https://www.nst.com.my/news/2016/08/169583/schools-design-not-blame
Design of present schools ideal for bullies:
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2017/06/26/design-of-present-schools-ideal-for-bullies/

I am writing this down as a motivation.. if I ever feel like giving up along the way.
 
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