STOP AND STARE~

"Syaza, bertuah awak kan. sume benda awak boleh buat. masak, lukis, tulis, komputer2....etc" BERTUAH?? think again.

"Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go nowhere" - One Republic.

Penah dgr lagu tu? lama dah~ that is exactly what im thinking right now.

I obviously moved, ok, transformed from a little kindergarten girl to a BIG [literally, too. ahhahaha] girl.

kalau org tanya cita2 dlu~

the first cita2 i would remember is NURSE!!! sbb, along ckp nak jadi "DOKTOR" and i said i wanna work in the same hospital. ahahha. ye lah. masa kecik2 of course i'd feel inferior duk dgn org2 yg x dikenali. tu sbb nk kje ngan along, at least knal la along. hahahah xD

but then again, jiran sblah umah, Pak Cik Hilmi [father to my siblings-like neighbours msa tu, KakLong n Bangah n Ajim~] salu sgt ejek "Misi.. misi nk g mana, misi?" .. dia ckp "Misi" stands for Nurse.
malu bt0l kal0 asek kna tegur "ehh.. Misii~~"

hahhaa xD

so tuka la cita2! *browse kamus bergamba [xtahaaan. ahha]*

penyiasat persendirian! looks cool~ pakai serba hitam, siasat itu ini~ xD

n i would play this role petang2, sorok blakang pokok la, blakang semak, etc. macam2~ huu .. slooowwly, the ambition disappeared~ huhu.

then, satu hari. when i was in stand 1, Along kne wat "Buku Skrap: Keluarga Saya".. Masa ni, Along da tukar cita2 from Doktor to Jurutera. Yan had the same cita2. Sume nk jadi cam Abah la kan~ hakk3.

n bila Along tanya my cita2.............. i said "Cikgu".. hahah. xD.. by time; bertuka2 nk jadi cikgu apa. cikgu English lah, cikgu Math lah, ustazah lah~ haha. xD few years after that, i started changing mind mind, AGAIN.

stat baca buku "Tunas Sains"~ gahahah. n i guess the aim to be a scientist lasted the longest. nk jadi saintis reka cipta~ kan ada 1 ruangan dlm majalh tu, ruangan reka cipta, masa tu masih baru lagi kat penang, n i miss my kl friends, so i decided, nk buat 1 machine, handphone + kamera +laptop... yg boleh keep me in touch ngan kengkawan- videocalls. i can see their faces and they can see me. masa tu MMS mana ada lagi. HEBAT X IMAGINASIKU. siap ada sensor lagi kawan tu duk kat mana. hahahhahah.. tp letak mana tah majalah tu~ haha xD sayang bt0l pencipta MMS/videocalls/etc lahir dlu dariku. ahahh xD

ok. kat jepun, thun 2001 baru ada MMS kalo x silap. at least, kat Malaysia masa tu xpopular lagi. OKAY, FINE~ AT LEAST I DIDNT KNOW bout the existance of MMS. xD...

"saintis" lasted longest, yea. even though, at the same time i do thought of becoming a pelukis, pakar matematik, penulis cerita kanak2~ HOI. DISASTEROUS. xD

itu nak jadi, ini nk jadi~

Abah xbape stuju when i said i wanna be an artist. pelukis. Abah ckp, jadi la arkitek, still boleh lukis2. masa tu, ergh. lukis garis2, pastu jadi bangunan. sape nk? xD anyway, untill now im still considering architecture~

sebut la apa2 p0n, i would feel "eh. best jugak jadi ni~" xD xD

masuk skola menengah, blur. blur. blur. my ambition nk jadi saintis was crushed by a teacher by saying "jadi saintis susah. xde time utk family~"

huhu.

i love baking. nk jadi pastry chef lah~

i love playing, er, sedap sket bunyi - decorating my food. "culinary chef mcm best je~"

n i love photography. "free-lance photographer . i wanna show the world, the beauty of islam through the photos im taking.."

then i came across designing. "fashion designer. for muslimah."

n graphics, "graphic designer .. permintaan tinggi"...permintaan tinggi 4 NOW. bila time my turn nk keje, i dont know lah kan.

working in animation p0n mcm gempak kan. mana tau boleh animate sirah rasulullah, cerita2 with moral values, adab islamiah, etc 4 kids in the future. ^-^

BERTUAH LAGI KE?

i am absolutely blank.

ari tu ada pameran "jOM mASUK u"... I asked bout hotel management. then this brother said, buat apa nak amek hotel n management. [org tanya je p0n~ x ckp p0n nk amek].. dia ckp, da elok2 blaja Quran Sunnah, Syariah, amek la Kewangan Syariah ke~ Tahfiz wal Qiraat ke~ etc etc.

then i was thinking. kalau kita ada platform QS, SI, mmg xleh get into any other bidang eh?

macam hotel management. apa salahnya if i can manage a hotel, only for families, separated swimming pools for men n women~ kan kan. xD

adilla asked me.

"ok . sekarang ni awak pk. dalam byk2 cita2 awk tu, apa yg awk rasa boleh sumbangkan utk agama?"

every thing, kalau bet0l2 concentrate, can benefit Islam~ masalahnya, i am still considering where am i going after SPM while everyone else dgn yakinnya jawab cita2 bila ditanya.

Along yg bertahun2 cita2 jadik jurutera ends up amek Medicine ~ Yan stayed with engineering. does this mean your first ambition will be your true job? erk. nurse? tidaaak~ xD

thn lepas.

"u all da 16 tahun hidup, xkan xdak cita2 lagi. xkan xdak hala tuju lagi~ come on lah~~" tce mastura.

"it's ok if u still cannot define ur ambitions just yet. this is the time where u are developing your true potentials. dont worry." - tce jamie.

"nampaknya ada yg dah tetap cita2, dan ada yang masih kabur. buat yg masih kabur, buatlah istikhorah dan ustazah doakan yg terbaik." - ustazah salwa. i miss u, ustazah. huhu.

conclusion?

heh~ u tell me. xD