Of Semester 1, Year 2. | ceritapasaldirijesemuanitakdeyangmenarik.

My Balang Bahagia for Semester 1, Year 2. Banyak tak sempat isi.. 

Prologue: Penat.
Pagi lepas solat subuh dekat surau KAED after an all-nighter dekat studio,

"Tak nak balik lagi?"
"Em, nak siapkan ni dulu kot."
"Ish. Gigihnya.." krik krik. "Tapi mmg rasa macam nak kena siapkan ni dulu kan.. Selagi tak siap tu, rasa tak sedap.."
You got me, brother. Exactly my point.

Tengah hari tu, kemas-kemas barang sikit. Nak balik. KENA balik mandi. HAHAH. K.

"Nak balik dah?" With a smile on the face. Macam satu rahmat je tengok kita nak balik. hahah. Tak tahu nak rasa offended ke mcm mn. Bahah.
"A'a... tapi japgi datang studio balik."
"Ish. Ya Allah.. Tak penat ke?"
"Banyak keje lagi.." 'Penat lah.. tipu kalau tak penat.'

Putus asa.
Sem ni, hampir putus asa. Selama berkecimpung *eceh* dalam dunia design, rasanya tak pernah sekali pun menangis sebab workload ke apa tapi this sem, fuh fuh fuh. I cried. PFT. depan lift pulak tu. buat drama. pft. hahaha. k malu.

My studiomates, caring belaka semuanya. Be it yg perempuan, yang lelaki. Terharu mak. Sobs. hahah.

Concern.
I remember one of those days, lepas one whole day spend masa dekat studio and kerja banyaklah jugak dah selesai, decided untuk balik bilik, mandi, solat, then datang balik sambung apa yang patut. Tapi kisahnya terlelap lepas solat. Lepas tu dapat mesej from one of my studiomates;

"Caje tak mai studio ka?"
"Hahah, insyaAllah, after isya' mcm tu... kenapa..?"
"Haha, rasa pelik Caje takdak."

Pulakk. Malamnya datang studio and then they went;

"Caje? Caje ke tu?" Suara dari blakang partition, bebudak industrial tengah siapkan final project diorang (educational toys).
"Ye saya..."
"Caje buat apaaaa lagiiii?" Riuh.

"Caje gi balik laaaa.. sidai kain ke apa ke.."
"Sudahh. baru  je jemur tadi."

Ada yang pergi tanya orang lain pulak, "Syaza tu tak penat ke?" I do not know how to react upon receiving this. Knowing that the asker is a guy and therefore it meant one thing, it was obvious ambe tak balik bilik untuk mandi. ahahha. Goodness.

Oh and I had a chat with one of the brothers jugak hari tu..
"Syaza bila nak balik berehat?"
"Haha, kalau ikutkan boleh je nak balik kejap. Tapi takut terbabas lah.."
"Kalau dah sampai terbabas tu maknanya tak cukup rehatlah.."
'Ouch.' "Hehhs. Seriously, nanti terbabas.. Taknak lah."
"Kalau Syaza lelaki mesti dah menetap kat studio ni kan? Tapi sebab Syaza perempuan je.."

Wahaha.
Agaklah.

"Benci Syaza. Benci Syaza. Benci Syaza" Ulang 1000kali luls.

And that one night secara serentak I got text messages from a brother and a sister, both asking whether I'm still in the studio, mintak tolong tengokkan barang sebab diorang dah balik. Masa tu tengah maghrib. Pft. Nampak tak betapa everyone knew I was making the studio macam rumah sendiri.

And bila jumpa the seniors dekat toilet, dekat surau, mesti kena marah.
Especially this one particular sister (yang sangat comel rasa nak picit picit je. ahhah k abaikan), kak Mkay, she would go "Awak ni kan! Balik sekarang! Orang lain pun banyak keje tapi bahaya lah macam ni, continous macam ni..! Kita nak awak balik sekarang!" sambil tampar-tampar tepuk-tepuk ambe yang still refuse untuk balik. Tapi I saw her almost all the time which means, beliau pun stay up jugeee. haha.

I wasn't the only one, of course, tapi sebab orang lain rajin balik bilik and I'm not.. Kot. Yeah. I guess. So it became obvious. T.T.. and the fact that this is my blog, hofkoslah cerita perspektif sendiri..
Transport satu hal. Tak kuasa nak buang masa jalan 30min pergi balik mahallah ke studio dengan kerja bertimbunnya. Bayangkan nak mandi ke apa pun boleh rasa buang masa, tertidur banyak sikit pun rasa menyesal gila.. Sedih kan. haha.

My roommates went
"Caje, caje bayar yuran mahallah separuh ke macam mana? Bila caje nak ada dekat bilik?"
And the fact that I always turn down their offer untuk keluar together2 tapi satu hari tu layan jugak, I mean, keluar sekali, what harm je pun kan... and their reaction was "Yeay! Complete set hari ni!" "Yeay Caje ikut.." really gets to me.. But alhamdulillah I got to spend a lot more time dgn diorang masa the study week, dalam bilik..akhir-akhir hujung-hujung sem.. Lepas selesai semuanya..

Tears and responsibilities.

Credits

Alkisah semester ni boleh kata semua subjek praktikal, subjek yang ada final project tapi takde final paper, which explains why we were so happy lenggang kangkung masa study week. So bertimbunlah, berderet-deretlah final submissions sebelum study week. Dengan Islamic Geometric Patternnya, dengan Islamic Calligraphy nya, dengan Computer Graphics nya dengan masalah dalaman departmentnya and most importantly dengan studio work nya.

Tapi yang tah kenapa g menangis tu sebenarnya sebab that one and only (minus U-required sub) teori punya subject, Design Methodology. Dijadikan cerita ada group assignment and our work was rejected. Rejected kaw-kaw punya yang memang kena redo from the very beginning.. Tahu kena redo everything je terus rasa macam 'ya Alllaaah. ada banyak kerja lain lagi nak kena submit. Heritage proposal lagiiii. Ingatkot dah boleh cross-out dah Design Meto dari list kerja... Tolonglah.'

Tapi kipkam dulu until sampai dekat lift, one of my studiomates yang sangat sangat sangat risaukan my condition that time, (beliau lah punca semua orang tahu I haven't slept for days sebenarnya.. leuls. comel je.) suddenly went;

"Caje, sorry, caje. Sorry. Caje mesti penat kan?" depan lift. Elevator, if u ask. 
Terus merambu. Tahulah hamba bahawasanya air mata yang tertumpah setelah sekian lama buat julung2 kalinya itu air mata lelah, jauh sekali air mata sedih kena redo.

I mean, the one yang cakap sorry (and nangis jugak. sbb beliau dan sorg lg pun nangis dulu, ambe pun tak tahan. haha) pun antara yang paling banyaaaak tolong dalam menggerakkan kerja group tu. Mestilah macam 'Eh nooo don't say that. You, too, must have been really tired. Janganlah tengok kita je...'

I have to say I was pretty ticked off kekadang sepanjang kerja tu, it was a massive group so byk kerenah, tambah pulak dgn kerja lain, rasa nak naik suara je and everyone be like, "Caje nak tinggi suara? Ohmaigodddd." -.- I'm no angel. Come on, pipol.
Upon knowing I cried pun semua orang macam "Ya Allah kalau Syaza pun menangis.." What now, I cannot cry huh? Huhuhu.

Tapi teringat kak Asya jo masa tolong kitorang dengan preparation KAEDFest...
Our respectable former Ms. President for the Designext Society. Sangat tenang orangnya. Adoreeeee.

Kak Asya termengeluh. But then she quickly cakap "Eh astaghfirullah.. tak elok mengeluh.."
"Kenapa?"
"Ye lah, kita kena kuat. Tak boleh mengeluh. Nanti orang bawah jagaan kita pun tak kuat.."

"Being a charger is not easy. You yourself need a power socket before you can actually function and charge others. Caje."

Responsibilities. Knowing that other people are depending on you. Kena work harder. Have to. Even if they're not totally, 100% depending on you tapi they actually buat you jadi kayu ukur, like it's okay not to do it if you don't do it. Blergh. It's hard, but it's a matter of amanah, secara tak langsung. Sedih tapi elok jugak, push diri kita sendiri untuk bekerja, it's a plus point lah.

Blessings.
Tp ye lah benda-benda yang menguji ni lah yang buat kita tambah pengalaman, tambah kenangan... Lessons learnt, and it may be the hard way tapi hey, takdelah hidup statik bosan sunyi sepi je. Selalu diuji bila cakap pasal sesuatu. Awal semester I keep talking about 'Kuat'. About being strong to face the ups and downs. There, Allah uji. Allah nak tengok kuat ke tak. Can I walk the talk?

penat2 stay up sekali kena redo balik semua lukisan ni. tapi one thing for sure the drawings and rendering got better and better, alhamdulillah. i guess.

Dan, dalam keadaan macam ni lah I get to know my studiomates better. Walaupun yang tak sama majoring, kebanyakannya, sbb yg stay studio setakat sem lepas, sll the Industrials. Conservation jarang2, Interior time esok lusa nak submit hidup lah dekat studio...

Daripada dulu Caje yang duduk bilik buat kerja, sampai masa hantar, jadi Caje yang stay studio bersosial lah dengan makhluk-makhluk Allah yang lain bernama studiomates. Buang those awkward moments, get comfortable dengan semua orang. I can finally say saya telah berjaya mula berkonversasi dengan semua orang dengan jaya jayanya. LEULS. I think to do your work in the studio really brings the team spirit. I mean, walaupun kerja maybe tak siap sebab our focus may sometimes lari ke apa, tapi I don't know, it felt different. I don't know, bonding, maybe?

The moments I spent with my studiomates, the moments outside class hours tu yg precious. Moment bercerita, moment mengadu, tukar-tukar memori, tukar-tukar pendapat. Itu yang, priceless.
Things that made you realise if you weren't in this environment, you'll never get to experience them. They're just, different. I mean, where else would I get that extra pengalaman hidup bermasyarakat at 12 midnight or even 3 in the morning? Or after subuh where most people are probably tengah tido balik or siap2 nak ke kelas while you just got back from the studio to ALSO get ready for your class that morning?

Ah. That reminds me, hari tu stay up, ramai dah balik lepas solat subuh but I stayed sampai lebih kurang pukul 8 sebab class would be at 9, takut balik awal nnt, tertido and terlepas kelas.. one of my studiomates, a guy, nak tumpangkan balik but I guess he knew I would refuse if it's gonna be only the two of us, "Jom, Syaza, balik sekali. *Insert another name, of a guy* ikut sekali." Though, still, I was the only girl dalam kereta tu but the effort, I appreciate that. and yeah, I never thought I would be sitting alone in a car with a guy, inikan pulak two of them. It was raining and I asked them to just drop me off dekat guard but they refused, dua2 insist suruh stay je biar dihantar sampai blok, cakap hujan nanti demamlah apa lah padahal hujan cenonet je kot.

And, that sudden question pukul 3 pagi,
"Korang. Question. What would be the best way ... the ideal way, yang korang rasa, nak suruh orang perempuan pakai tudung..?"
Like whoa whoa. Coming from a guy, knowing that he needs that opinion to actually ask (a) girl to cover up.. like pepepepeh.. k.

Gila gila mereng diorang pun ya Allah the only 10 brothers dekat studio tu semuanya sangatlah gentlemen sebenarnya. Diorang jugaklah yang tak bagi ktorang tidur dekat musolla sbb risau. One of them told me betapa bersihnya studio senior and they even had a place for the sisters to sleep. "Macam korang, sisters, mesti nak tempat yang proper nak tidur kan.." 

Or those life questions macam:
"Kenapa eh, macam mana eh kita boleh suka sangat ke something tapi lama-lama jadi dah tak berapa suka..?"

"Kenapa hidup kena ada pilihan?"

"Korang nak tau tak korang pokemon apa?" Yep. I'm not kidding. Half of the studio actually got their pokemon names. What design did to you.

"Caje hang nak kawen dak?" k tetiba.

To conclude, a friend once said and it went straight, right into the heart,

"Masalah, memang untuk orang hidup pun. Kalau takde masalah, takdelah muhasabah."
Kalau dah mati, apa boleh buat? At least bila kita hidup, kita boleh selesaikan.

And finally,

"Menangis, tak jadi masalah. Tambah-tambah bila kita nangis depan Tuhan. Dengan dosa kita. Terus rasa macam beban selama ni pap hilang. Menangis depan manusia, diorang bukan boleh buat apa. Sekadar dengar".

Au kama qol. :P

Tengok movie dalam bilik gelap. Join jual jual nasi lemak, funding untuk heritage studies.. godek kereta yang locked from the inside, some stories untold, stok kain batik kurang satu, witness gaduh2 manja ahhahah k macam-macam.

A: "Yang orang kata 'hikmah' tu, kadang-kadang dia datang lambat.."
B: "Tu lah.. Kiranya, tak semestinya on the spot.."
C: "Dan tak semestinya hikmah tu directly untuk kita. Mungkin hikmah buat orang lain."

We'll never know indeed.Put our trust, in the Best of Planners.
Usaha, kerja kita.
Hasil, Dia.

Photo and caption by Enjelika 

Kau boleh tengok langit yang maha cantik tu, just from a motorcycle's side mirror. Tak perlu dongak kepala--Macam hidup. Kau tak perlu ada neon sign yang bertulis "anda sedang diuji tuhan, percayalah di sebalik ujian ni, kompem ada hikmah yang akan datang" on your face. Kau cuma kena 'baca' hikmah tu indirectly--Maybe kau terpijak taik ayam on the way gi masjid so terpaksa patah balik tukar selipar baru sambil menyumpah nyumpah sebab takut tak sempat jemaah. Tapi kau tak tau sebenarnya kalau kau teruskan perjalanan ke masjid, ada satu van bercermin gelap tengah tunggu masa je nak culik kau--Read. Just find how to.


You know you've been away from home for too long, when your family came to visit u n ur 13 y-o brother asked,
"Bila balik? Rindu kakak." and that he got so many things to tell. My baby brother's not a baby anymore. He's growing up, fast. :') And tallllll~~~ like ya Allah mana pergi segala lemak2 tepu beliau semua naik jadi ketinggian agaknya.

Creds:

Epilogue: Tidur.
Cakap pasal tidur. Back in the first year, my room mates, yang jugak my course mate and even yang non-cousemates akan rasa geram gila bila tengok tidur awal. Memang dah janji dengan diri sendiri, ingat apa Allah cakap, malam untuk berehat, siang untuk bekerja. Managed to go through the year dengan lancar, cukup tidur, kerja siap, alhamdulillah.

Tapi this time around, especially awal2 n nak-nak dekat akhir, for that dua minggu terakhir sebelum submission terakhir, I've been forcing myself to stay up late, xtidur, lepas tu gi kelas siang macam biasa and sambung cycle malamnya. Bila tidur? Oh, lelap lelap after every solat. Oh and dlm klas jugak. Sori ustaz...

Kadang-kadang tu ada je satu malam tu stay studio tp satu kerja pun tak jalan sebab dah exhausted sangat, tak boleh nak buat apa. Tak boleh nk compute. Mabuk. Tertidur dekat dalam studio, susun kerusi yang beroda tu elok je buat jadi katil. Thank goodness aircond studio rosak ms tu and xde brothers datang buat kerja dkt studio. Itu okay lagi. Tak tengok lagi dengan kitorang tidur atas lantai, atas meja, eh kepala atas meja, and what not.

Bila tidur dekat surau, ada masalah orang mengintai. Tah apaa motif nak peep orang tidur . -.- Nak tidur, nak rehat dengan aman pun tak tenang.

I remember waking up lepas terlelap dekat lantai, pusing sebelah dengan muka sembap2, a brother was sitting right next to me doing his work, angkat kepala nampak another brother betul2 facing me from his place pastu nak menggeliat tetiba another brother lalu. -.-

Come to an extent dah macam tak nak peduli dah. Apa-apalah. The brothers, they've seen our (the girls') ugly faces. Like, ugly, faces. HAHAH.And no worries ma darlings, setelah sekian lama jadi angan2, kini bilik for sisters only dah siap. The room shall be available only for sisters starting Isya' up till Subuh.. InsyaAllah..

Bila bersembang2 macam mana lah orang dalam kos kita ni boleh ada kekuatan nak kawen masa study. I mean lepas satu satu berita, bertunanglah, kahwinlah, pregnant lah apa..
Tapi ada jugak pros nya. You get yourself a guardian angel merangkap body guard . Eh.
Tapi tapi tapi.
Bila tengok diri sendiri tak terurus, makan tidur tunggang terbalik, ofkos la terpikir-pikir acano nak jaga anak orang, acano nak jaga anak sendiri?

Tu yang macam, most of us girls akan conclude "Kita kena cari yang satu kos, yang dalam dunia ni jugak, sebab diorang mesti faham..." Tapi haritu our lecturer, lecturer Industrial, who is a guy yang belum kahwin, bila my friends asked "Brother, macam mana kitorang-kitorang ni nak kawen? Ada ke orang yang nak, tengok tunggang terbalik hidup macam ni, macam zombie dah?" something like that. HOPING for the lecturer to respond mcm apa yang ktorang fikir, dia jawab..

"Kalau saya, saya tak pilih dah.."
WAHAHHA. NOW GIRLS, DENGAN SIAPA LAGI KITA NAK BERHARAP? hahahah.
k end.

Disclaimer.
Contrary to popular belief (assumptions), no, i am not engaged, na ah, no where near. Kot. Like, come on. Sapelah yg nak...? *rujuk cerita2 di atas.* stop with the "nampak berseri" "balik bertunang ka" and segala spekulasi tak berisi. Leuls. I encountered twice, bila taaruf, juniors cakap i look like i'm married. *tersedak*

Org yg first time jmp bolehlah, they would say that and I cannot say anything melainkan "I'd take that as a duaa" and sometimes I'd say "soon" leuuulls. Layankan je lah. Maybe cause I look old. -.- No, matured. Lalala~
I doubt any of my close friends would even wanna thiiink of me getting married, sambil belajar. My mum would be the first one yang ketawa terbahak-bahak agaknya. But my friends sekeliling pun memang dah mula dah misi mencari masing-masing. Me? Hehhhs. Hehhhhhs. Blergh.
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep.." aherher. I'd pray for the best lah kengkorang semua.

Anyway, terima banyak berita pertunangan kawan2 dan senior, risik2 bertanya, and what not baru2 ni, dr yg senyap2 tetiba bam they came with such news. Haha. Yang paling senyap tu lah yang mengikat dulu, yang dulu paling tak suka cakap pasal lelaki laaaa yang dilamar orang dulu. hahah.
oh and kisah chenta korporat i heard from my room mate, serius mcm drama atau novel. Told ya i got interesting friends around. That's how Dengan Lafaz Bismillah came out. Whatever it is, barakallahulakum everybadeh.

Don't worry about me.
I'll be staying here, put.
 Cutting models.
  Doing technical and 3D drawings..
    Eating instant noodles if I feel like eating.
      Zombie-ing around, being the walking dead.
Sleeping macam dunia ana yang punya lepas selesai semua submisi.
And liking, double tapping your wedding photos.
on facebook, instagram..
Alone.

 Till then.

.gif by herehere