"Kenapa nak jadi cikgu pulak?" Now I know why TFM fellows often write lengthy essays to validate their reasons to join, people are asking and disbelieving indeed.
I think I've said it once on this blog, I used to not want to be a teacher, not in any ways trying to degrade teachers, not at all, but because I look at it as a noble profession, I did not feel like I would be good enough as a teacher. I doubted my ability to teach. But as I grow, I find the need to push myself forward and this seems to be one of the ways.
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A couple of months before resigning and off to a new working life. InsyaAllah, if everything went well. A few stages passed and a few more to go. After a Rancangan Orientasi Sekolah where we'll be shadowing our respective fellowship ambassador, we'll have two-months Pre-service Programme before reporting in, for the next two-year school session.
That being said, I'll be taking a break from the 'design working world' and dive into the teaching profession. This is not something I do baselessly. I have discussed with people around me, myself(?), my parents, my friends, my teachers and lecturers, my current employer, and I end up fortifying a few (a lot of) reasons why I'm doing this and I can even categorise which one to answer to specific people.. leuls. And thus, no I am not withdrawing from the design life. In fact, I am trying to delve even deeper into it. It's a different road, yes, but it still is a way towards it.
Personal motivation: To at least give something back to the society while at the same time developing myself in something other than design, BEFORE continuing to go after my personal pursuit in my career and education development, in interior design.
In a lot of things, I had always wanted to stay behind the scene, but most of the time I still got pushed to the front line, and forced (or I myself felt obliged) to lead something. This time around, I'm taking this as my very own voluntary step forward to (learn how to) lead.
"Go for the knowledge" is something I chant all the time, my mantera. Now it's time to spread the agenda. I'll have an audience for a start: my students. Buuut it is up to me to engage with them first. Please make du'aa.
Interior design basis:
"The improvement of environment through interior design is NOT ONLY aesthetics but also functionality and productivity." My focus in design had always been on the multisensory interior, specifically in the learning environment. I can, if I want to, just enrol in a post-graduate school and research on 'the best design approach for students', but I choose to get first-hand experience: BE IN THE SCHOOL. It definitely won't be a direct effect, an immediate impact, I know. "Oh I have done a research now I want to present the best school design proposal and get it applied in Malaysia." No. The building programme for Malaysian schools are administered by the Ministry of Education, I know my voice is gonna be like a whisper, but at least I'll have this opportunity to understand better and to eventually try and get my idea across.
In fact, however grandeur or sophisticated the building design is, it will remain a soulless architecture, if the environmental effect is not achieved. And I believe one of the ways to it is through education - an active interaction of human beings at a setting, a two-way process of teaching and learning, of teachers and learners where sometimes the teachers are the learners instead and the students are the one offering something to teach, beyond the academic value.
And hopefully with my one foot stepped into the education world, I'll be given a chance to spark a change.
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If anyone is interested to read:
Desa Mahkota by Eleena Jamil Architect: http://www.archdaily.com/470704/desa-mahkota-school-eleena-jamil-architect
School design is not to blame: https://www.nst.com.my/news/2016/08/169583/schools-design-not-blame
Design of present schools ideal for bullies:
http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2017/06/26/design-of-present-schools-ideal-for-bullies/
I am writing this down as a motivation.. if I ever feel like giving up along the way.
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