Ziarah

ATTENTION : You will need to click on the title of each article to read the full post, yang mana rasa macam tergantung..

Chin up, buttercup.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Semester Two.
Year Two.

Taknak.
Taknak balik UIA lagi.
Taknak balik KAED lagi.
:'(

Setiap kali nak mula sem mesti takut.
Penatkan? Nak rasa macam ni.

Kali ni tak tahu kenapa tapi rasa sangat tak bersedia untuk teruskan semester ni.
Bak kata Aa, rasa nak cari invisible cloak.
Dulu hari yang taknak sangat-sangat pergi tadika bolehlah tidur (baca: buat-buat tidur) dalam kereta. Sekarang mana boleh dah. :'(





Main thing about design is to be able to please other people, that's sad. and tiresome. I know. Everybody knows that. Tapi yang sedihnya bila takmampu nak elak. It's always about the client, always about expectations. Always about the clash(es) of perspectives.

Takboleh nak lari, walaupun kita kata nak design untuk ummah, nak design untuk universal users, for the betterment of the world and what not, tapi tapi before anything nak kena lalu lecturer dulu. Ye ye o je cakap "You are the designer, I can only assist."

The truth is nak kena hadap critic session(s) dulu. Lecturer, manusia, ada hati. Kalau dah namanya hati, susceptible to changes. Hari ni cakap lain esok cakap lain. Hari ni paham macam lain design kita, assist bagi idea macam lain, esok faham lain, tukar lagi idea. Tah apa yang diorang faham tu sama ke tidak dengan yang kita faham pun tak tahu, dah namanya main dengan hati, main dengan akal, dengan persepsi.. benda-benda subjektif, bukan boleh dapat 100% macam skema jawapan. Salah faham, benda biasa.

Selalu mesti end up akan meroyan tetengah design stage: perah otak sampai kering,
"Apa yang brother nak sebenarnya???"
"Madam paham macam manaaaaaaa????"
"Tell me what else madam nak?"
"Brother bukan taknak macam ni ke?"


I can only achieve satisfaction when I get to see my design, my own objectives fulfilled. Kalau sesuatu design tu mainly semata-mata "layankan je lah" lecturer nak apa, memang takkan ada soul pun. Kalau ada pun cinonet je. Even the lecturers boleh perasan. Arts kan. It deals with your expression of intangible aspects, unto tangible medium. It deals with how you make other people see things.

One project,
"You punya progress sketch dah ok dah, I suka.. tapi bila final presentation, macam, tak bestlah, sister.. macam, lacking."
"Lacking macam mana tu, brother?"
"Dia macam, xde soul."
'Memang pun.' Angguk iakan. Betul pun. Bukan tak betul. My heart was not there.

Another one,
"You punya marker stroke dah ok dah, dah boleh guna dah. Tapi macam kurenng lah soul dia, sister.."
"Soul dah balik Penang dah, brother.." T.T yes i said that out loud. Final project kan. Soul balik dulu.

Masa portfolio day, lecturer yang tak mengajar kitorang akan datang assess projek2 sepanjang satu-satu sem tu, and one of them cakap, sambil lagi dua tiga orang angguk-angguk;
"Between these two, I can see you like this one better. It seems like you have more understanding and indulged into the concept better on this project compared to that one.."
"Well yeah, I actually did like that one better, madam.." Angguk. Walaupun mula-mula rasa macam yang dimaksudkan tu lagi payah nak derive a design solution, tapi yes, akhir-akhir tu kalau nak suruh present and justify the design, i'd be more comfortable to talk about it, kalau bandingkan dengan the other project.
Post-portfolio deliberation. Hm. Spot meh.

Pengajarannya, nak tak nak, live with it. The lecturers ada lagi banyak pengalaman, ye diorang bukan dewa tapi to some points layankan jelah, tapi jangan sampai tenggelam hati sebab in the end ada hati ke tak ada hati yang akan affect design kita. Tajdid niat, orang kata. Always.



Tapi setiap kali mula sem I have this one particular friend yang akan mesej panjang-panjang takut sama-sama tapi lepas tu sama-sama bagi kata-kata semangat untuk teruskan hidup 'macam ni.'

Since CFS.

Walaupun beliau ke Architecture, saya ke Applied Arts and Design.

Tapi sama-sama rasa lelah dia, sama-sama rasa penat dan malas dia,
sama-sama rasa bersyukur mampu survive setiap kali habis semester. Rasa tak percaya we went through all that bila pandang belakang.



"We'll get through this together, okay? 
Tapi nanti awak grad dulu.. Kbai."

"Takpe, awak sentiasa dalam doa kita. InshaAllah.:)"


Mohon doa berpanjangan.
Semester Two.
Year Two.

Purata.

Monday, January 27, 2014


 


 
Surah Hud, 88.
"Aku hanya bertujuan hendak memperbaiki sedaya upayaku; dan tiadalah aku akan beroleh taufik untuk menjayakannya melainkan dengan pertolongan Allah. Kepada Allah jualah aku berserah diri dan kepadaNyalah aku kembali."


***


Sometimes it's better to be alone than to be in a bad company.
Well, sometimes.

Most of the time we just have to be the good company.

He did not shoo away those who didn't follow his way, did he?
Dakwah wouldn't have spread if it was a work of a single man.
It started from one man but grew until Makkah became the oasis in the Arabian dessert.
Islam is not a religion of solitude, Rasulullah went out, he did not isolate himself and do good all by himself. He spread. He taught.

He was sent down to perfect good manners.
Have we tried to follow his way?
The last Prophet's, s.a.w. 

Sometimes it's the little things that matter. Jihad is big, but everyone's mujahadah is definitely different from one another.

Notetoself, and those reading. :) | 14

This was meant to post for MaulidurRasul sebenarnya.

Sesetengah orang rasa untuk bermanfaat kepada ummah tu, adalah dengan mengangkat senjata, join demo sini sana, itu dan ini. Tapi in actual fact, apa apa pun yang kita buat, sentiasa ada peluang untuk bermanfaat. Dan kalau dah namanya untuk bermanfaat, haruslah buat yang terbaik. Note to self. Note to self. Remind, for I forget.


***

Ini kesinambungan pengakhiran post "Mortal, Rizak dan Rizqi"

Results in a couple of days. I'm nervous. Ho yeah.
and mulalah post-post
"Ilmu bukan pada pointer"
That, is true.
"Allah tengok usaha, bukan tengok natijah"
That, is also true.

But. Before we quickly comfort ourselves, just, ask, banyak mana usaha tu?
You know, "to excel, is a Muslim." Dr Spahic Omer. but did we really try to excel?

Kalau result tak seberapa, nak biar je ke berterusan macam tu? Of course we should work harder, aim higher.

"Buat apa nak kejar pangkat tinggi-tinggi?"
"Tak bawak ke kubur pun pointer tinggi.."


To be average. To be among the typical. Is it really what is taught in our religion?

Watch this:

Rasa macam nak buat transcript penuh je..: 

 “The strong believer is greater to Allah, is closer to Allah, is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer (Hadith). And here, 'strength' is not only strength in imaan, in dakwah, 'ibadah, taqwa, but strength in ALL aspects of life, and that includes your education! That includes you seeking education. Whether you're taking syariah or engineering or pharmaceutical or medical sciences or whatever field that you're in, Islam wants you to be the BEST!” 

 “Always aim high. Look for what is beneficial for you. It is the advice of our beloved teacher Muhammad s.a.w. What’s the passing mark out of a 100? 51? Then you aim for 51? NO!” *Ouch*

 “It’s not wrong in getting the best in a position, Yusuf a.s asked to be a treasurer of Egypt during his time. Aim to be the best! You follow the best, you believe in the best (the prophets), so why don’t you follow TO BE the best?!”

"Ihris ‘ala ma yanfa’uk! Work hard for what benefits you."

"Let’s learn from our beloved Prophet s.a.w, with ONE MAN, ONE MAN ALONE IN MAKKAH, when Allah s.w.t asked for him to get up and call people to Allah, bring people to Islam, invite people to Laa Ilaha Illallah, what did the Prophet s.a.w said? Did he say 
“I want all man in Makkah to be Muslim.” or 
“I want the whole Arabian Peninsular to be Muslim.” Or 
“I want Asia to be Muslim” ? 
NO! He says I want Islam to reach everywhere, the way day and night had reached everywhere. Look at this high objective! That was the achievement of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. He aimed for it. He set it as a goal. And he worked for it.” 

“You don’t have to be a sheikh or a’limm. You could be whoever you are, whatever you are and whatever you are in, you aim high to achieve and become the best of Muslim.

"When you ask for Jannah, don’t just say Oh Allah, grant me your Jannah, don’t just ask to be in just any level of Jannah.. don’t just ask to be amongst those who just enter the Jannah, who just smell the fragrance of Jannah. No! No! If you ask Allah for his Jannah, ask for the Firdaus, aim to be in the Firdaus, the highest level of Jannah! This is the character or a Muslim, the character or the believer that makes us different – when we aim, we aim high, and when we achieve, we achieve the best!"

“The best of you, are the most beneficial to others (Hadith).. Achieve the highest in life. Be the best of example. Be the best of engineer, be the best of Imam, be the best of teachers, the best of doctors…” 

“Aim high, and depend on Allah s.w.t. Depend on The One that lives for another day, depend on The One that says “Be! And it happens” (kun fayakun). How could you aim low and depend on Allah? If you really wanna depend on Allah, then aim for the best in life. Depend on Allah and know that Allah with always be with you. Don’t be lazy! Don’t be reluctant!” 

 *tampo tampo tampo*

Only after that we have the right to say, "Usaha kerja kita, natijah kerja Allah."

فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ
Kemudian apabila kamu telah membulatkan tekad, maka bertawakkallah kepada Allah.

All the best.
Till then.


***

So my blog was set to private a few days ago, if any of you noticed. *krik krik krik*

It was the usual "I should stop. Tulis tah pa pe je, macam xde manfaat je." phase.
That feeling, rasa macam nak shut down semua akaun dekat alam maya ni.
But I know that is just impossible.
Well, at least for me.

Kadang-kadang terfikir jugak untuk delete all those nonsense, tinggalkan yang (rasa-rasa) ada manfaatnya je. Tapi fikir balik, tak boleh jugak, kadang-kadang manfaat bukanlah dari post yang ilmiah, yang ada selit ayat quran atau hadith.

Kita tak tahu how our words may affect other people kan.
Like I myself, bila dengar kisah orang, sometimes it's the tiniest bit of what they said tu yang struck me. Sometimes it's a sentence bukan the whole story. Sometimes it's the subject matter not the language.
Kadang-kadang dia cakap pasal ayam ke itik ke tapi kalau kita boleh relate dengan hidup kita, apa salahnya kan.

"Kadang2 kita tak tahu macam mana words kita boleh affect orang lain. 

Pemahaman semua orang berbeza, but if it could benefit, especially on the way we see things around us, then it's a yay.

Malam ni was, something. It was very deep, so deep I could cry, tambah deep. Dan lemas.

Allahurobbana.
Tsabbit qulubana.
'Ala diinik.
Wa to'atik." 16 Sept 2013.

Besides, my blog dah macam my memory back-up dah.
Yelah, zaman blog cakap hari ni bosan tak buat apa sampai zaman blog berjela-jela satu hari tu buat apa sampai, sekarang. Zaman ana antum to zaman kita korang zaman tak tahu nak bahasa diri apa *major problem*...zaman copy paste artikel tak tengok sumber. zaman zaman tu.

It feels great to see the changes. Malu memanglah malu tengok ya Allah tak matangnya, pft macam sekarang matang lah sangat kan, tapi hey, it was me.

Those were the days and those were my stories that became a part of me.
Even though there's so much more I hide in the closet but everything I put in this blog is a part of me that I choose to share with people. Though, I don't really tell people my blog link. It's like kalau jumpa, jumpalah. :P

buat buat kental 
menahan airmatamu jatuh 
agar kau terlihat kuat 
penat juga ya 
lepaskan rasa 
biar airmatamu jatuh 
biar kau lega. ~ ismisyahida; 280114

Semalam, ada diskusi sikit dengan my dear schoolmates bila Tasha post pasal 'To be or not to be in a relationship...".. Teringat zaman sekolah.
To sit down and have our own extended discussion in the musolla after usrah. i miss u guys.

nak duduk dekat surau al-ansori. atau teratak ilmuwan. atau astaka.
dengan angin. dengan daun kering. dengan nasihat.
dengan, sahabat.
Teratak ilmuwan.

Bila Tasha keluarkan statement, "Rindu-rindu cenggini baiklah kita patri dalam doa. Biar tsabat sesama. Ohoho" NAS

It's just that, I don't know. We're taking different paths.
Things aren't the same.
Things are scarier.
And your know what, I don't know if i'm becoming part of it.

now playing: "Will you hate me?" Dawud Warnsby Ali.

i don't know. how would you guys react if u see the live i'm living?
would you guys be among those yang ada that stereotype towards design students jugak?

would you guys call me a hypocrite, a liar?
would you damn me to fire?

i feel like running away from people. escaping.
but running away isn't gonna solve anything. AQ 33:16.

This is gonna be awkward but, permintaan:
I'm not gonna delete anything from the past but,
Mohon, andai satu masa nanti penulis blog ni tak lagi bernyawa,
Mohon doakan blog ni ada manfaatnya.
Mohon apa saja yang baik dapat dimanfaatkan.
dan tentu tentunya,
apa saja yang buruk mohon buat jadi pengajaran.

kehidupan realiti, luar blog jugak. Sama.
Even if yang negatifnya mungkin, oklah confirm lagi banyak dari yang positif,
Mohon doa berterusan.
kbai.


 
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