Do you get butterflies?

Haritu jumpa Adilla. Her husband, now my colleague, Hazman is the one and only guy in our core team. We had Adilla over not really sebab kesiankan Hazman, tapi sebab lagi berempati dengan Adilla Yang ditinggalkan keseorangan as we had our retreat week. 

As we were catching up, we talked about our failed plan to matchmake Along. They looked so good together, but the sister rasa she wouldn't be able to bear long distance.

""Awak carikan untuk kita pulaklah..!" I said, half-jokingly.

"Susahlah awakk. Nak cari orang baik. Ada sorang tu tengah cari, tapi ... Tak yahlah dia. Awak nak orang macam mana?"

I proceeded to tell Adilla my two big fat crushes I had. One dah selamat berkeluarga kecil, one just ... Out of radar..

"The first thing that came to my mind from the kind of people you're attracted to, is that you're looking for someone like yourself. You are comfortable with yourself."

Actually that was what Zing once told me. "I think you're not looking for someone opposite to complement you, you are subconsciouly looking for a companion."

Why are my friends so good at this??!

Adilla suggested many ways I can start a conversation, "Awak sangat sensitif, I know you know it when someone is trying to hit on you! I'm sure you noticed all the little things, you just didn't want to take action, Syaza!"

Itulah. I have my own doubts and insecurities.

Adilla also said "Be you, Syaza. Joke around like you always do." Because according to Adilla it is easy for people to paint a serious picture of me as their first impression, but people who got to know me a bit deeper will know for sure I am not that serious all the time.

People tend to put me on a pedestal, "Syaza the Great" ... and that makes me uncomfortable. At the same time, I also don't want people to look down on me. "You want someone equal."

Yes. Someone who knows the foolish side of me, someone who knows my drama, someone who I could talk random stuff to. Someone I admire and have my respect for.

"Awak. You are comfortable with yourself, you are well-read and you have always been very open, very different mindset, dari sekolah lagi. Forget about all that list, I think now you just need someone that struck your heart, AND THEN YOU MAKE A MOVE." 

Why does she make it sound so easyyyy.

One thing tho.

I told her about the two.

I didn't get to tell her about you.

I do tell my friends about you, with joy and proud to have a friend such as you.

We've been good friends and I guess as time passes, we're going our separate ways.

Each, hopefully, excelling in the things we want to excel in.

We've been good friends and I don't want to lose a friend ever again.

You might not know it, but all this while I do get butterflies when I see you/your name. Do you, though?

 --

Abe Parker - Butterflies

How do I tell you I need you
When you steal the breath in my lungs?
My body shakes 'til the blood in my face
Makes me awkward, smile, and turn around
How do I hold these emotions
When you spin my world out of place?
One look at me, it feels like everything
Is written marker on my face

I'm hopin' maybe you can tell me now

Am I the only one that's catchin' butterflies?
Am I a moth in your flame?
Do you burn the same when I
Look in your eyes?
Do you get butterflies?
Butterflies

Don't know what I'd do without you
And that's why you're not here in my arms
I'm so scared to lose what we already have
Askin' for everything that I want

'Cause maybe I raised all your red flags
And these green lights are just in my head
I swear that there's something we both can't explain
And I'm terrified to lose it

I'm hopin' maybe you can tell me now

Am I the only one that's catchin' butterflies?
Am I a moth in your flame?
Do you burn the same when I...

Hopin' maybe you can tell me now
Am I the only one that's catchin' butterflies?
Am I a moth in your flame?
Do you burn the same when I
Look in your eyes?

Look in my eyes
Do you get butterflies?
(Butterflies)

eeeii. jadi!